Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the tag “internet dating”

How bad can it be?

I have no date for my office Christmas party.  I have NEVER had a date for my office Christmas party.  I thought I had a chance at having a date this year, but I guess he’s not talking to me anymore.  So brilliant individual that I am, I’ve come up with another idea to try to find a date.  I think maybe I’ll just take out an ad on Craigslist.  How bad can it be?  Can’t be any worse than regular internet dating on POF.  Plus, the results of it would make a really good blog entry.  Gotta be a good story if it starts with, “So I posted this personal ad on Craigslist. . . . . ”

 

 

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Mars and Venus, or is it Uranus and Venus??

So I get it, men and women have two different styles of communicating.   Women communicate and men don’t.   Okay, so that wasn’t exactly fair.  Let’s say men communicate long enough to get a woman hooked and then they’re done, and the woman is left wondering what happened to stop it.

Guys, be sure and chime in here if you think I’m wrong about this.  This is something which is quite perplexing to me and I am always up for learning more about the male mind and what makes it tick.  Let me just throw a scenario at you—new guy, been talking almost two weeks, finally met last Friday night.  We have touched on numerous subjects, and he has shared many, very personal things with me.  This surprised me at first because he was so open, but I can roll with it.  I tend to have that effect on people, and I figure the more comfortable he feels sharing things with me, the better off we are if this is headed towards “relationship” status.

Anyway, lots of personal information, seems very honest, etc, we meet last Friday night and the chemistry was all there in person too, and we even touched on being open to exploring a relationship.  I talked to him Saturday morning before he went to work, we texted a bit on Saturday night, I sent him a text on Sunday, to which I received no reply, and called him and left a message.  Basically, I haven’t heard from him since Saturday night.  I’m thinking WTF??  Is this normal?  We totally click, and agree on this fact, even in person all the chemistry is there.  (For those of you who internet date, you know that sometimes you can click over messages and texts, but have no chemistry in person.)

I am at a loss. I am now refusing to text him, or call him.   Yeah, I’m really tough like that.  Oh, hell!  Who am I kidding??  This guy seems so great that when he does get ahold of me, I will probably act like it’s no big deal that he hasn’t talked to me for days.  Which to him, maybe it isn’t a big deal.  Maybe he doesn’t think anything of it.  He does have an extremely demanding job, which he is on call for and usually only gets about 12 hours between shifts.  Friday he managed to not get called in, so he hopped in his truck and drove the hour and fifteen minutes to come meet me in person.  I am in no way making excuses, I just know how guys can be extremely one-track minded.

I do think this guy likes me and is interested in me, so why am I getting so freaked out by the lack of communication?  At my age I don’t really want someone up in my shit all the time, and I am sure he feels the same.  Plus, we aren’t officially dating at this point, so should I expect him to have daily contact??  Maybe I only expect the daily contact because I got that the first week.  Seriously, if I’m dating someone, then yes, I do expect to have daily contact with them.  But for now I think this thing is supposed to be casual, though I think if we were about 15 years younger, we would be so up this shit it would be unbelievable!!

I am going to attempt to play it cool.  He is aware I am quite interested in him, and I believe the feeling is mutual.  At this point what more can I do?  I have to stand back, let go of my control issues, and let him take the lead.  He is the man after all.  And what a huge, smokin’ hot, hunk of a man he is!! 😉

Like I said—please comment and let you know what you think!!  I would love to hear everyone’s opinions!

 

 

 

 

I’m impulsive, reckless. . .

Remember when I said I didn’t want to write about the new guy I had been communicating with because I was afraid I would jinx it? Well, I guess I should have just wrote away, because I think it might be over before it’s even begun!  I have absolutely no clue what happened.  Which, is quite surprising considering how much time I’ve been giving the whole subject over the last two days!

I am going to try and recap this whole thing as quickly as possible, so here goes. . . .I message him, because in his main profile pic he is dressed up like a clown, and I wonder what kind of guy this is, and think that he must be fun if he is willing to do this, and I am so tired of the same old douche bag guys on the Plenty of Freaks website. . . he almost immediately messages me back and we message back and forth for the better part of a day and a half, then he gives me his number, and says I can call if I would like. . .I loved the fact that he said to call him, and offered me his number, because I wasn’t planning on offering him mine. . .I don’t call him right away though, but I do text, and we text for another half of the day, and before he goes to get on the train—this is his job right now—he calls to let me know that he has to have his phone off while he’s on the train, and he just wanted to let me know so I wouldn’t think he was ignoring my texts. . . so what do I think??  well, of course I think–how fucking sweet is that??  Can’t remember the last time a guy was so courteous, and I literally about shit my pants because the guy has done this. . . .yes, I have been with some real loser men who weren’t very considerate. . . so that night, I go to bed wondering about this guy. . .we had really seemed to hit it off, and he actually calls to tell me this. . .maybe this might be something good, even though I know the odds aren’t in my favor. . .he gets on the train, I go to bed, and wake up to text messages in the morning. . .he can’t sleep, so we text while I am getting ready for work, and then we email during the day also. . . .he sends me a couple more pics, and then we talk on the phone again on my drive home from work. . . .he tells me there’s something he wants me to know–that he’s got PTSD(he is retired military and has been to Iraq more than once and numerous other places), but he says he wants to assure me that he is not violent, and that he doesn’t have anger outbursts, that it only affects his sleep. . . I am truly not surprised by what he has shared, and we discuss it a little more and move on, we talk about the fact he is separated, and not divorced yet, we talk about his kids, we talk, and we talk, and we talk, until he has to get on the train again. ..he sends a message in the middle of his train journey, and then I don’t hear from him again until nearly 4 the next afternoon, when he gets up and says he has slept almost that whole time, which doesn’t surpise me, because he takes medication to help him sleep, and he hadn’t slept well the day before…his schedule is not exactly conducive to developing a good sleep pattern, but he also seems to need a job that’s somewhat exciting after all the stuff he has done in the military–I think this is probably pretty common, especially with guys who have been in a lot of combat, or very stressful situations. . . .we talk and text on Friday night while he is at supper and having a couple beers with the railroad guys, we talk when he gets back to him room, we go to sleep, and I text him when I wake up, he replies, and then texts again while they’re waiting outside to get into the station, once he’s in, he calls and we talk while I drive a little over an hour. . .I am visiting friends, and he is going to watch football, and says he will be really focused on that, but then he starts to text me again. . .wants to know if I’m sure I don’t want to come see him since he is going to be in a little longer than he thought, I tell him I can’t, thought I want to. . .next day he is stuck in his “away” town, and thinks he will be there until Monday, so I tell him I am driving out there to meet him. . .this sort of freaks him out, and he wonders why I would drive 3 hours out there to meet him, because he says I don’t know him that well, etc, reminding me he is a former MP, and that I should be more careful. . . I tell him I am a smart girl, and am not planning on putting myself in a dangerous situation, and he says he would be more comfortable if I didn’t come, and would rather I wait, and he will drive to where I live to see me within the coming week. . .I agree this is probably more logical, we talk my entire trip home, about 1 1/2 hours, and everything seems fine, he keeps saying he’s sorry he told me not to come, and that he didn’t want to upset me, and I tell him to stop apologizing, because I appreciate the truth. . .I feel ridiculous about even considering it, but know that I totally would’ve done it, and he says he’s not like other guys in that respect, and I tell him that’s fine, because I’m pretty tired of the way most guys seem to think and operate, and I appreciate the fact he kind of put the brakes on the whole thing. . .we each go work out, and he grabs something to eat, and then I text him later to tell him something. . since he’s back in his room I ask if I can call him before he goes to sleep, and he says of course. . we end up talking for another hour, I tell him maybe too much stuff, about how I am guy-shy about men, and untrusting, and I even admit he is the only man I am talking to right now, because I want to see where this goes, and he says he understands. . .I am a little emotional, overtired, and should’ve shut my mouth, but it was already said, he tells me he totally understands, we say good night. . .I go to sleep that night not knowing when he will get back to his “home”, but I text him in the morning, get no reply. . . I text him a couple hours later asking if he is stuck “away”, and he says that he got home almost an hour before, and is going to the gym and going to get some sleep. . .I call since I want to talk to him before he goes to sleep, he seems a little rushed, and the next thing I hear some guy talking to him and he tells me he needs to go because his neighbor wants to talk to him. . .I text him later that evening around 8 asking if he is still sleeping. . when I get up the next morning he has returned my text about 10:20, saying, “not anymore, just got called for work”. . .that is the last time I have heard from him. . . yes I have texted a couple of times, yes I have tried to call a couple of times. . .this morning I called and actually left a message just asking what was going on. . .I told him I am quite confused by this, thought we had hit it off really well, and that I hoped he can be honest with me and let me know what’s going on. . . I don’t tell him that I am crushed, I don’t tell him that being the foolish dreamer and silly heart that I am I have cried. . .oh yes, I have cried. . .I know, stupid, huh?  I have only known him a few days, and have never even met him in person, but it was just one of those things. . . I just knew it when we started talking that there was something there. . .one of those connections that only come along once in a great while. . . I thought it was going to be really good, and he seemed to reciprocate that with what he was saying, and now just. . . nothing. . . fucking nothing. . .and I don’t know how many more times I can do this. . .how many more times I can pick myself up. . .I usually keep that wall up, but I let it down and let him too close, and when I let him in, all my insecurities came flooding out. . .I am such a fool. . .have I pushed him away with my impulsivity, and recklessness and insecurities?? . . .

Frogs and shit. . .

So you know the old saying about, “you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince”?  Well, in the world of internet dating, I think a lot of these guys must think the saying is, “you have to screw a lot of guys who aren’t looking for any sort of relationship before you find a prince”!  Grown ass men we’re talking about here!  Just think I’m going to put out for the hell of it?  I haven’t even met some of these guys, they haven’t even bought me a drink, and they think I’m just going to drop trou for them??

Here’s the scenario that spawned this thought in my head–been chatting with this decent looking guy from larger city about 3 hours north of me, fairly innocent conversation, no sexting or anything like that, only communicating through POF, have chatted back and forth for about a month or so, even talked about me going up there to visit in a couple of weeks, the other day I’m at work and we have messaged each other a couple of times, I was having a bad day, he sends me a message in the afternoon wanting to know how I’m doing, better I say, I ask what he’s doing, he says relaxing and taking nude pictures of himself, lets me know if I show him mine that he will show me his and gives me his phone number, I tell him I am at work, he says everyone has one on their phone, I tell him not me, he says go in the bathroom, I say this is work time not personal time, he is not pleased.

When I got home I sat down and sent him a message.  I told him if he was just on POF looking for sex that was cool, but why wasn’t he just honest about it?  He could have saved a lot of time and energy if he would’ve let me know that.  I am not in the habit of texting men I barely know pictures of my anatomy.   I thought maybe we would hang out and get to know each other before that was even a consideration.  Guess what?  I haven’t heard a word from him.

He was definitely a frog, and I didn’t even have to kiss him to find that out!

 

 

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