Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the month “May, 2013”

A Lifetime Lease



He dwells in the past as if it’s a house he’s rented with a lifetime lease. I ask him why he does it, why he can’t let go.  His answer?  “I have.”  But it’s quite obvious he hasn’t.  He harbors resentments, anger, ill will.  They all rear their ugly heads at one time or another:  when he speaks of his parents not supporting his bull riding dreams, when he speaks of being laid off from a job in 2006 which pays more money than what he makes now, when he speaks of women who left him years ago, and most often when he speaks of the mother of his son kicking him out, because it’s the freshest and in the forefront of his memories.

He still carries a picture of him and his son’s mother in his wallet.  It bothers me.  We only have one picture of the two of us together, and it’s not a good one.  She still has her own ring-tone on his phone.  As far as I know, I don’t have a special ring-tone on his phone.  When we go to pick up his son, or drop him off, I have to wait somewhere else and can’t be in the car.  Should these things bother me?  Am I being shallow?  Am I being juvenile?  The truth is, some days it really bothers me, and other days it doesn’t bother me at all.  These things are no reflection on me as a person, but it does worry me that these things are having an influence on our relationship.

A friend told me last night not to let it bother me, because it’s not that he can’t let go of her specifically, it’s just that he “can’t let go of the past” in general.  I think she hit the nail on the head.  Many of us have things we can’t let go of, whether they be people, situations, feelings, addictions.  We all have to deal with them in our own way, in our own time, and let go of them when at last we decide the burden of toting them is too great.  I know one thing though, it sure makes me glad I have a forgiving nature.  I can’t imagine carrying around that much anger for that long.  It must be exhausting.





Wordle Wednesdays

I took a break from dealing with shit at work today to participate in Wordle Wednesday. Some bitch has just emailed me again, so I guess I am done with my reprieve.

Broke. . . .
Thought I was well-built
That’s what thinking will get you. . .
Why can’t my mind be calm?
Be silent,
Pack all those thoughts in boxes
Sit them outside
No, not on the porch
Take them to the curb
To be picked up by the garbage man

Wordle Wednesdays

Couldn’t find time yesterday to sneak in Wordle Wednesday, so hit it first thing this morning. Thanks for missing me Kira! Hope you think the wait was worth it. 🙂

Prone to crazy
Life loosely based on reality
Chaos visits
To periodically blackmail you into reason
The mirror chuckles and scrutinizes
“Hey Lily, whose your daddy?”

Your Kindness is Appreciated

I want to quickly say thank you to FrontRangeScribbles for the nomination. I have been terrible about responding to nominations recently, and I apologize. I am struggling to find words for much of anything lately. I will make it to the other side of this, but right now I miss my son, and can’t imagine what the fall is going to be like when he doesn’t come back home to start school. I appreciate everyone’s support of my blog, and me so much!!


I must thank Petite Magique for giving me the Best Moment Award

I have no clue what this award is, but for anyone to take the time to recognize what I have done I appreciate them for it.



Like all awards I must thank the one who bestowed it upon me, so thank you very much Petite Magique for the award, for taking the time to read what I write and comment. I appreciate very much that you do stop by my blog. You have such great poetry and wonderful pictures that I am in awe when I read your posts.

This is the part I hate the awarding it to others, I think all the people I follow and read are great in their own ways and I don’t like leaving people out or giving it to people who don’t want to participate. I apologize if I give…

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Wordle Wednesdays

Kick Ass!! It’s Wordle Wednesday over at Wrestling Life. Kira knows I love this, and it helps me get through hump day and into the downhill slide to the weekend. Go over and check it out, leave some prose. Here’s what I came up with:

Your gaze,
Ensconced me
Your eyes,
Exposing the rivulets worn in my skin,
From tears flowed over decades
Your hand,
Sent to anchor me,
Was a mere deception of destruction

Zen & The Art of Asking for Directions

I attempt to find my Zen
At the bottom of a beer can
While reminding myself
That regardless of the chaos around me
I must learn to find some peace
I have searched high and low for it
Overturned furniture
Flipped mattresses
Dug holes in the yard
Tried to fuck a path to it
You elusive bitch
You are burrowed somewhere within me
I need directions to find you
Where did I put that fucking map?

Separation Anxiety

I am floundering




Not wanting to rise again

I can’t think about it because

I get a lump in my throat

My eyes threaten to cry

I feel sick to my stomach

I am uncertain



I don’t know how to make it through this

I will pretend



Take so many deep breaths

That I shall eat up all the oxygen in the room

In an attempt to be okay



Castigating Coworkers

I can’t take one more minute.  I have to vent.  Mass consumption of alcoholic beverages in the evenings after work hasn’t helped improve my mood regarding my job.  Most days I don’t mind my job.  Yes, it’s boring, it’s mundane, it offers no challenges, but it pays decent, and has pretty good benefits, so I stay.  Most days I don’t mind the people I work with, but let’s just say the last month or so, I really just want to throat punch most of them.  Let me tell you why.

1.  Am I the only one who knows how to hang a new roll of toilet paper?  Are you just trying to be a smart ass bitch by leaving two fucking squares of shitter paper on the roll?  I appear to be the only one who stocks the fucking toilet paper, the least you other bitches could do is hang a new fucking roll up once in awhile!

2.  Hey asshole that brings the Milky Way  Dark candy bars in and puts them in the refrigerator.  I hate you.  That’s one of my most favorite candy bars of all time.  I just hate you.

3.  I’m not your maid, your mother doesn’t live here, clean up after yourself.  Isn’t that just basic, common courtesy?  I get tired of vacuuming, and picking up all the papers you left in the copy room.  I get tired of cleaning up the coffee you spilled on the kitchen floor.

4.  The last time I checked work starts at 7 a.m.; that doesn’t mean 7:10, or 7:30, or 7:49, that means fucking 7.  Considering you take off more days than anyone else in the office, the least you could do is come to work on time on the days you are here.  Oh, and maybe stay until 4?  I’m not really sure why he lets you get away with it.

5.  Have you ever heard the term “make-do”??  Why don’t you try that?  Why do you have to have a certain type of folder, or pencil, or notebook?  Does it look like we’re actually making any money around here?

6.  Prioritize.  All of us have to do it.  I am tired of your fucking excuses.  I am not perfect.  I fuck up.  I can admit.  You never do.  Admit you’re fucking up.  Until you admit you’re fucking up, you can’t fix it.  Quit ignoring the fact we have a serious situation on our hands.  You are fucking everything up for the rest of us.

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job. . . . .


Wordle Wednesday

Yeah!!! Wordle Wednesday!! Why do I love this so much? Searching for just the right word, to construct the poem. . . just love it! Here’s mine this week!!

Exposed. . .
Like the soft flesh of my belly,
You threw your arms around my chest,
So desperate were you,
Trying to harvest time,
Like minutes were vegetables,
Wanting it to trickle slowly instead of run,
Like it always seems to do when we are close

Ten Famous Autocorrected Quotes – Volume Two

He fucking did it again!! How could he? I just got my pants dried out from the last round of these piss-your-pants-funny autocorrected quotes! You have to read this shit, because they will give you the best laugh you’ve had in a long time. Oh, and I’m sure this will garner him even more followers than he already has!! Enjoy my laziness, and the fruits of his brilliant comedic mind!

The Dimwit Diary

Suppose a young man with a wild imagination and too much time on his hands went to a greasy spoon diner one evening at 3 AM.   Suppose the same young man grew tired of all the belligerent drunks and lot lizards that usually frequent a greasy spoon diner late at night, so he began to surf the interwebs on his smart phone to occupy his time until his gyro omelette and rye toast were ready to be served.

Suppose that while killing time surfing the interwebs, the young man came across some famous quotes and later stumbled upon the humorous website, Damn You Autocorrect.  Now suppose the imaginative young man with too much time on his hands got to thinking:

“What if all the famous authors, poets, artists, philosophers, and great leaders of history had to use a smart phone to type their inspiring quotes?  Would their quotes sound any…

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