Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the month “June, 2014”

My Name is Alice

PhotoCredit: shanegallagher.deviantart.com

PhotoCredit: shanegallagher.deviantart.com


Down the rabbit hole I go

I’m late, I’m late
for a very important date
of which I have no plan to keep
because only darkness abides there

Drink me,
Eat me,
make me play croquet and drink tea
which I prefer iced
with a sane hatter
though they’re so few and far between

Will that particular caterpillar
ever become a butterfly?
Will what’s in that hookah
make all my troubles disappear?

Off with my head! Off with my head!
the only solution to stop all those crazy thoughts
from becoming things

You! There!
my King of Hearts,
smile at me like a Cheshire Cat
and wake me from my slumber
there’s no judgment in your world
where you feed me tasty morsels
to make me feel (abby) normal again
lest I drown in my own tears

Blogging for Books

I’m a book whore. I’ll do pretty much anything for a free book. Well, not that, but nearly anything else.

Surely I’m not the only one who gets slightly giddy at the thought of a book, and downright titillated when someone mentions it’s free??

So imagine how engorged and tingling I was when I found Blogging for Books. Over 2 million books, of all types, just begging to be read, for FREE!! Okay, not totally free, but for the mere price of a review, so practically free. Pick your book, read it, review it on your blog and link it up, and get another book. A book whore’s delight!

Not so delightful was my first free title, My Life in Middlemarch.

I must admit to being a reader who is first enticed by the cover of a book, and this one was no exception.

The cover is the best thing about it.

The cover is the best thing about it.

I believe it was P.T. Barnum that said a sucker is born every minute, and I was definitely sucked into this one by that cover. More specifically I was sucked into a world of quotation marks.

The description seems now to be nothing but a bunch of smoke and mirrors.

“In this wise and revealing work of biography, reporting, and memoir, Rebecca Mead leads us into the life that the book made for her, as well as the many lives the novel has led since it was written.”

Of the 10% of the book I read, which I would liken to slogging through a hasty pudding of English literature, I don’t believe even 1% of that was memoir. The majority of it was merely quotes from other books, or bits of research, that jumped hither and yon.

This book left a bad taste in my mouth for this author, and the extremely homely “George Eliot”. I couldn’t swallow another bite and had to walk away.

However, it shall not deter me from diving into more titles due to my extremely book whorish tendencies!!

And remember my fat bottom stalkers, life is entirely too short to read bad books!!

Worth Every Penny

Gas money for a 7 hour drive to and from Colorado and a case of tired ass- $130.00

Accommodations for a 2 day stay, and food including fried pickles and tasty treats from a little French bakery  – $420.00

1/2 Day White Water Rafting Trip for 2 on the Arkansas River complete with a totally unplanned swim in said river – $125.00

Look on my son’s face as he tells me this is the most awesome trip ever and that he wants to do it again tomorrow – Priceless


tongue speak

your tongue shall speak volumes

I eagerly await your recitations

syllables, meter, the morphology of it all

has me spewing jargon and expletives

the pitch and intonation of varying resonance

as you


the fuck out of me
with your literacy

you sir, are a cunning linguist

your particular sort of speech
music to the very core of my being

there shall never be an oral moratorium between us










and sometimes I can sum my feelings up for you
quickly and neatly
in a tiny space
with few words

and other times long addition isn’t enough
and I need an abacus
because no matter how I try
there are never enough words that will factor in
what I feel for you

and the silly school girl in me
that doesn’t even like math
you + me = all I’ll ever need

Requiem for a Rainy Day


The rain cascades down the window

flooding me with want

of you

of a quilt

of the feeling of safety and peace so easily found in the crook of your arm

Morning Coffee

And all I want right now is to be sitting
In this chair
With you across from me
Watching the sun rise
Talking about everything and nothing
As the cool breeze wafts the scent of the neighbor’s honeysuckle past us
Knowing that love is in the little things


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