I’m writing this from an undisclosed location. I’ve had to go into hiding. I feel like a good fella who’s had to move to the ‘burbs and change his name from Bobby 3 Balls to Larry Smith.
It’s not because my blog has gotten wildly popular overnight. (How can you call 4 readers wildly popular?) I’m on the down-low due to (gasp) charitable donations.
Little did I know that a couple of $20 donations, to try to put a stop to the Sarah McLachlan simpering, would result in some sort of stalkerfest!
I love animals, and thought I was doing a good thing by donating money to charities which help animals, but had no idea how quickly things would escalate after I mailed that check.
Before I knew it, guilt gifts galore started showing up in my mailbox–calendars, wrapping paper, address labels, Xmas cards, and even a pair of socks.
Socks?? Were the socks supposed to remind me there are little puppies and kittens wandering around out there with cold toes?
Here’s the thing, your gifts don’t guilt me. Your gifts make me wonder why you use the money I send you to turn around and send me a bunch of cheap crap instead of using it to help the animals?
How many cats and dogs could you feed with the money you spent to make those labels and that pair of socks? Could you spay or neuter one or two with the numerous calendars you’ve sent? I imagine you probably could, and that makes me a bit angry.
So this is what I’m going to do. First, I’m changing my name and going into the witness protection program so I’ll stop getting your solicitations, and second, I’m going to start donating to local charities. At the most, I think they’ll only send me a letter once a year asking for a donation, and I’m okay with that. A letter once a year is more like a gentle reminder, as opposed to stalking someone numerous times throughout the year.
So you can keep your crap wrapping paper and tell Sarah McLachlan to shut her pie hole because she makes my kid cry with that shit!
Fat Bottom Girl
Large Derriered Female
the erratic journals of a happily incorrigible lady-child
"How did it get so late so soon?" ~Dr. Seuss
Happy Vibes ❤
"Eye Fly High"
A weekly series edited by Jena Schwartz
The blogging home of Ella Dawson
Read. Ingest the words. Like little blue pills, they will affect you.
the stories behind the pictures, and vice versa
Just my thoughts for all to behold
FOR DISCERNING READERS
🍃 Fully Living The Unfinished Things Of Life Through Writings. 🍃
AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
top knot wearin' mama to twin girls
A baking and dessert blog.
An Arts-Filled And Tasty Jaunt Through Life
Finely crafted short fiction & stories
a little bit of this and a little bit of that
The home of Emma O'Brien
The musings of a scorpion who would have been an eagle
The 9 Lives of Buffalo Tom Peabody, Gunther Tootie, Ignatius “IGGY” Rattlebottom-Bunn, Larry "Bubba" Flowers & Doodlesack. NO AWARDS. please.
I blog now. I know, I can't believe it either.
I eat books for breakfast.
Gay humor writer writing about cats, cat care, life, and the adventures of being gay.
Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved...by somebody rich and famous.
MUSINGS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC STORYTELLER
SATIRE, TWITTER, DRIVEL