Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the month “October, 2015”


and banish these ghosts
from that which is my mind

Sage burnt
does not chase them away
nor salt at the thresholds

Only one pair of arms
shall perform the exorcism
I seek
with incantations whispered into my soul

an arid wasteland

lead my parched heart to an oasis before it dies of thirst

i have sand coursing through my veins

i cough dust and choke on the inhumanity of man

as i wash down the deceit with dirt

my body an empty shell

filled with the salt of the Dead Sea

bring me water on your tongue

for my shriveled soul


#NoBraDay – No Way


3:30 am – sling tits over side of bed, step on tit getting out of bed, sling tits over shoulders

3:32 am – dip tits in toilet while sitting down for the morning pee

3:35 am – get on treadmill for morning jog, try to hold tits up, but trip over tits and bang face on treadmill resulting in 2 black eyes

4:00 am – shower, put on makeup to cover up 2 black eyes, and try to decide on outfit that camouflages tits minus bra

4:30 am – make breakfast, burn nipple on burner

4:40 am – sit down to scrambled eggs and cheese, burn other nipple in hot cheese

5:00 am – stop at convenience store for gas, get out of car, slam tit in door, remove tit from door, attempt to pump gas and get other tit caught in squeeze handle, finally get tit loose when tank is full

5:15 am – go back home and put fucking bra on, because what’s the fucking point of this day?

I wrote this, obviously, with my tongue in my cheek.  Breast cancer is a serious thing, but I don’t for one second believe that walking around all day with my tits drooping is going to bring awareness to breast cancer, anymore than guys walking around with their bollocks hanging out would bring attention to testicular cancer.

Honestly, I feel #NoBraDay is merely another way to sexualize boobs, and cloud the issue.

Men get to grow their facial hair to bring awareness to men’s cancers, but women should run around with their nipples showing to remind everyone that boobs can kill?

Boobs are many things—they’re sexual, they’re functional, they’re beautiful.  They come in many shapes and sizes.  And they can be deadly, just like so many other areas on a woman.

Ladies, be kind to your body and yourself, and get regular check-ups and mammograms.  Guys, remind your ladies to take care of themselves because you want them around not only for the long haul, but to run their fingers through your beard during #Movember.

Harsh Realities

I knew the minute you held my hand

your fingers didn’t intertwine with mine
you didn’t grab it like you never wanted to let it go
it felt awkward
like it was difficult for our palms to be touching
foreign and out of place
your hand was an intruder
it didn’t belong

after all that time
months spent loving your from afar

I knew the minute you held my hand

you didn’t really love me

Crimson Cloak

You were the worst kind of wolf in sheep’s clothing

cleverly concealing your incisors

distracting with gallantry and double speak

drawing me ever closer to the

quilt of lies and chaos under which you laid

“Let me soothe you”

“I am not like all the others”

“Feel safe with me beautiful”

“I love you”

What big lies you have!

lies which swallowed me whole

sucking me into their vortex

spinning me ’round and ’round

threatening to drown me

and silence my inner knowing

Me, ingesting my doubt

instead of spewing it out so I wouldn’t aspirate on it

You, being the wolf you are

saw all the goodies in the basket I carried

and knew all the right words to

make me relinquish them

Whatever was your purpose?

except to stroke your big bad canis lupus ego

Eventually the woodsman will catch up with you

you looter and plunderer

and cast a downfall upon you

the likes of which

not even your pack will be able to rescue you from

I, walk away

to face another day

wrapping my crimson cloak tighter round


to never be hoodwinked by a wolf again




pick pick pick

at it


pull it apart

threads woven







holes remain

which you hope can be


Life Lesson #564

The things you said

Or all the things you didn’t say

In the end

Didn’t make a damn bit of difference

It was what you did

Or all the things you didn’t do

That did.

So when all was said


All was done

You weren’t the one

**Note to self:  Actions speak louder than words. Always.  If you’re important to him, he’ll find the time.

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