Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the category “Poetry & Prose”

Anxiety Onset

It creeps in silently

on tiptoes of cotton

unbeknownst to me

until it’s screaming

in my head

and filling every cell of my body

with fear

and self-loathing

and I want to take a hammer

and beat it out of me

because tears threaten to over spill

the rims of my eyes

and pour down my cheeks

and I hate them

for thinking they can flow

whenever they want to

and I hate myself even more

because I have no control

over any of it

 

*What today’s panic attack felt like.

 

 

Crime Scenes

 

I leave lip prints

where only you can see them

as a reminder

of where my mouth has been

 

I cover myself with fingerprint powder

so I can see the

whorls

loops

and arches

your hands left upon my feverish skin

 

Clues

in the crimes of passion we commit

in our minds

 

 

 

 

Reality Suspended

Cigar smoke

is suspended in the air

as is the impression of my red lips

on the side of the bourbon glass

what started as friendly conversation

and side splitting laughter

has led to abandoned articles of clothing

a trail

ending at the big four poster bed

in the cabin in the woods

where we secretly meet

to touch the deepest parts of each other

which no one else has touched in such a long time

 

 

Acrophobia

no man has ever found

my broken to be beautiful

they’ve only used the cracks

to slip their lies into me

as they offer a hand to stand

so they can then pull the rug out from under me

stay down

they say

you’re not fit to walk amongst us

the beautiful

the blessed

the best

it has been decreed

you shall forever be

the bullied girl on the playground

(no one coming to your rescue)

with no place to escape

because the monkey bars are too high

and I’m afraid of heights

 

 

 

 

Parchment

how long until my skin

becomes paper

thin as the crepe de chine

abandoned in the back of your closet

full of moth holes

forgotten after Senior Prom ’65

where once there was buoyancy

and the ability to reproduce

now the organism

withers and dies

starving

void of the nourishment

of human touch

if only you could

wrap it up in tissue

and send it to me special delivery

the words

‘handle with care’

stamped upon my battered flesh (instead of the box it arrives in)

and whispered in my brain

ad nauseam

like a broken record

daring you to heal

what was long since destroyed

by angry hands

 

 

 

 

 

Dilapidated Hearts

house

They tore it down

along with everything

that was left of us

rafters exposed

building bones stripped bare

of everything once held dear

(love)

(respect)

(laughter)

left exposed to the elements

to warp and rot

ofttimes the way love does

too much space left in between

the studs

16, 24

the years pushing them further apart

instead of bringing them closer together

cracks

in the foundation of promises

shingles pulled back from the roof

after weathering too many storms and harsh words

which couldn’t be repaired once spoken

leaving a breach

for the rains to permeate

and fester

the black mold

which brought it all down

Transfusion

Gray

is the color of my heart

until you bleed life blood back into it

red

like the flush of my lips

like the paint on my nails

seeking

the warmth of your skin

the taste of the martini left in your mouth

 

 

 

Abandoned Lips

The heat lightning flashed

and the thunder rumbled

and the warm breeze

blew the curtains inward like ghosts in a strange dance

and we laid tangled

in the damp sheets

your hand on my hip

your sigh on the back of my neck

and it had all started with a kiss

one kiss

which fell on lips long since abandoned

by others

 

 

Footwork

Courage abandoned me

as fear carved out my insides

it took the road less traveled

veins and arteries

devoid of blood

for my heart had long ago ceased to beat

the only rhythms of life

trapped in my head

recalling a time

when my feet knew the songs and the steps

and weren’t too afraid to dance

 

 

Flim-Flam Man

You’re a charlatan

a sham fraud fake imposter

a flim-flam man in a Ford

a peddler in false hope

your lies suspended in snake oil

to make them slide down easier

“Come one! Come all!

I’ve got just what you need”

you shout

hawking your elixir to unsuspecting women

promising results

but never delivering

Take your spiel

and your wares elsewhere

as I have no patience for a shyster

whose life is already promised to another

parading panaceas

 

 

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