Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the category “Bad Poetry”

Can’t You Smell That Smell?

And the shortest distance between two points

is as the crow flies

so I wait for wings to form

make me a bird and let me fly

far, far away

but no amount of pleading with a non-existent god or goddess

can make it happen

so I’m leaving on a jet plane

to get a rocky mountain high, the rocky mountain way

I couldn’t get much higher

if I was huffing the scent of your excellence

while standing 40 feet in the air with you

Migration of The Heart


I hear them before I see them


I run outside and tilt my head back

searching the sky for them

I see their familiar V shape formation

I know where they are going

they are flying to you

I am instantly jealous

I want to be flying to you too

I want to bring you spring on my wings

My warm breath upon your face

My smile like sunshine to your eyes

so bright it makes you cup your hand over your brow to cut the glare









You didn’t know me before. . .

life seemed to drive me to be jaded, untrusting, wary, fearful

Marked now
with scars and bruises
some evident
others not noticeable to the naked eye

So much history
packed away
camouflaged and ensconced
in the baggage I carry
(we all tote something)

carpet bag
steamer trunk

If you were to say to me,
“Set them down babe,
the burden of what you carry could cause Atlas to collapse from exhaustion,
take each item out when you’re ready,
I’m here to help,
I’m not here to judge”

And if I actually find the courage
to take out the key
and turn that key in the lock
and throw open the lid
would you really stand there
while I release my own type of Pandora’s boxed goods

Because if you did. . . .

I might need you to hold my hand
take my elbow to steady me
on my feet
when my knees threaten to buckle
from the weight
of some of it as I lift it out

I may need you to dry my tears
and pull me close
and tell me you appreciate
all the things I’ve carried
because they’ve made me who I am today

I may need you to crack jokes
so that I may laugh
to purge myself of all the negativity
and misconceptions
I’ve pulled from inside these vessels of wounds

I may need you to love me

Welcome To The Big Top

Desperately, she wanted to know how much he cared, because at times, her insecurities drove her to doubt everything.

Patiently, as always,

He replied thus,

My dear, if the circus came to town, I would don tights and a cape and climb the ladder all the way up to the tiny platform where I would then walk the tightrope without a net just for you.

To which she replied,

My dear, there would be no need to fear a fall, as I would be there to catch you.

He replied thus,

My dear, I would climb inside the cage with a lion and stick my head inside the fierce beast’s jaws whilst holding a greasy double cheeseburger between my teeth!

To which she replied,

My dear, after you removed your head from the lion’s jaws I would wipe the beast’s slobber from your pate, and kiss you on it.

He replied thus,

My dear, I would recite dirty limericks and sing you bawdy love songs whilst riding a unicycle and juggling knives.

To which she replied,

My dear, if you happened to drop a knife and cut yourself after hitting a bump, I would doctor your wounds with Batman band-aids and balance the unicycle while you got back on for another go.

He replied thus,

My dear, as you sit in your special reserved front row seat with the velvet cushion, I would have a corn dog and a funnel cake delivered to you so you could snack on them while watching me put on this show for you, my biggest fan.

To which she replied,

My dear, I would clap and wolf-whistle and cheer loudly, because I will always be the president of your fan club, and will be the first in line to buy a ticket to any of your performances, and always hand you a Route 44 Cherry Limeade when you are done.

He replied thus,

So, my dear, if you don’t now know how much I care, I might as well tear down the big top.

To which she replied,

Don’t you dare! It’s clear you adore me and my quirky ways, as I adore you and your quirky ways, and we have years of performances ahead of us!



big top

the beast

in the shower it hits me
punching me in the gut like a prize fighter
threatening to spill emotions onto the porcelain
like bad Chinese takeout from a queasy stomach

its fingers, icy tendrils, grip my heart
so quickly and tightly
it makes my breath hitch
the pain bringing tears to my eyes

the beast rears its ugly head
opening his colossal jaws
to enclose me in them
swallow me whole, just to spit me out
flesh flayed, bones exposed

why is it you doing the right things
scares me more
than all the wrong things those other guys did

Snooze Buttons


if this is a dream

don’t wake me

don’t shake me

don’t let the alarm
start buzzing in my head

and rouse me
from my blissful unconsciousness

allow me to slumber

wrapped in thoughts of you
and the ecstasy of my happiness

PP + MJ 4 Ever


You descend until we’re
upside down and right side up, noses to chins
brush your lips against mine
silky as the web of a spider

Tangled, spiraled, orb
tunneled, tubular
oh what a web
our love weaves

Cast your net
before I run
lest I be entangled
and made dependent upon
the safety of your sticky castings

Saving everyone means
you might lose me
the girl next door
green eyes and red hair

But saving no one
means you losing yourself
even a superhero’s heart
isn’t insusceptible to love

Travel Plans

I think it
but there’s really no point in asking the question
as I am well aware of the answer

(Where have you been all my life?)

Walking your road
and I
walking mine

I don’t know of all your travels
or what all your stops and detours have been along the way

I only know my own road –

sometimes long
so long and painful that many days I wanted
to rush to the end
and be done with the journey prematurely

sometimes broad
so broad and entrancing that I could gawk and explore
without fear of running into anything
or anyone and being stopped dead in my tracks

sometimes meandering
so meandering and foreign that I could never guess
who or what might be around the bend
or the treasures I might find

sometimes steep
so steep and narrow that I feared falling
off the precipice and careening to
the bottom where only blackness and longing dwelled

sometimes generous
so generous and heaped with blessings
of love and laughter
that I could barely catch my breath to offer thanks to the universe

sometimes rocky
so rocky and rutted that I tripped
and fell so many times my knees and soul left
scraped and scarred doubting the wounds would ever heal

sometimes lonely
so lonely and desolate that there was only silence
and no one there to try to stop the flow of tears
or hold me when my sadness became unbearable

But travel we must
converging with others roads when the time is right
and yours has converged with mine
on what would seem a serendipitous pathway
or possibly a collision at a crossroads

We each have reached out to the other
tendrils of souls
intertwining and trusting

How long we will stroll this merged, but imperfect thoroughfare
remains to be seen
I only know the ground seems steadier
with you beside me

Lip Confrontation

Kiss me,” she said. kiss

“In every way. . .

conceivable. . .

. . .now,” she said.

From Reykjavik to Fiji

no longer a vast wasteland
of cold, crisp cotton
or chambers and ventricles
with ice rushing through them

my bed
like my heart
is warmed
by the mere thought of you

are you merely a weary traveler
seeking shelter
for the night
or are you searching
for a place to reside
a permanent home
to welcome you back
whether you’ve been gone
an hour
or days

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