Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the month “September, 2012”

Cougar Country

Wanted to give you all an update on my quest to become a cougar!  I am chuckling to myself while I type that, because I’m not really on a quest to become a cougar.  If it happens, that’s fine, if it doesn’t, that’s fine too.  I’m not going to be chasing them down and sinking my claws into them or anything.  I’ll let them knock on my door.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know what happened with “Fuckalicious”.  He looks extremely fuckalicious, but I guess I won’t be finding out if he is anytime soon.  He texted Monday night, after we’d just discussed getting together sometime in the near future, to tell me he and his ex had gotten back together.  Sometime between 10 am and 9 pm, they reconciled.  Isn’t that sweet??  Just precious, isn’t it?  I’m just being a sarcastic shit.  I’m not mad.  I told him best of luck, and he knows where to find me.  I didn’t waste the “exes are exes for a reason” speech on him.  He’ll figure it out.  I will miss the thought of having my way with that though.  The only thing that kept running through my head after all that occurred was a song by Christina Aguilera that I am particularly fond of.  It just made me think of him!  Well, back to the jungle to find more hotties!





To Sext, Or Not To Sext. . . .That Is The Question!

So along with the, “should I get busy with a younger man” question floating around in my head, there is also the, “should I sext, or not sext” question.  Yes, this has come up because of the younger man.  For lack of a better term, let’s just call him Fuckalicious.  You will have to trust me on this one, he truly is.  Of course I really have a thing for guys with dark hair and blue eyes, and nice bodies, but maybe that’s not your type.  Who am I kidding?  He’s pretty much every girl’s type!  This is why I question what he wants to do with me??

But, back to the sexting issue.  This came up AGAIN, because of Fuckalicious.  I have sexted in the past.  The first time I ever sexted was when I was in a relationship with a guy.  It started out as just text sexts, but soon escalated to pictures.  Keep in mind we only sent pictures to each other AFTER we had seen each others’ naughty bits in person.  So, I was totally blown away the other morning when Fuckalicious sends me a pic of his man tool, in all it’s glory!  We had texted each other for the first time the night before this, and were flirty, but I was quite surprised this had escalated quite so quickly.

So then what does he want?  A picture from me.  I tell him I am at work, and can’t send anything like that, but try to appease him with a couple different shots, one of me in a pin-up pic, fully clothed of course, and another one from the lake this summer.  He replies that these are “yummy” and “sexy”, and we text back and forth a little more.  Later that day, he hits me up after work, and wants me to send him a pic.  I am on my way to my son’s soccer practice, and tell him this.  I try to engage him in some texting, and ask him a couple of questions, but he doesn’t answer until later in the evening, telling me he was at practice.  I ask him what kind of practice, but he never answers.  The next morning I decide I will send him a picture of my tits.  I think I have pretty good tits for a 43 year old, but am still nervous considering he’s only 30.  I don’t just show my tits to everyone, but they are just tits, so. . . .I send it, and he sees it when he gets up.  To which he replies “yummy”.  (I didn’t say he’s a genius with a great vocabulary, I said he’s smokin’ hot!  You can’t have it all!)

He wants more.  Well, shit,  he can’t be appeased with a tit picture, he wants a pic of the nether regions.  I tell him I can’t send him that because I don’t even know for sure what his name is.  He tells me it’s Mike, and I still call him Fuckalicious in my mind.  I am at work, so I buy some more time with that.  I text him a couple of times throughout the day, he doesn’t respond.  In fact, he doesn’t respond until late yesterday afternoon, that he’s still waiting for the picture.

I text him last night, and explain a couple of things to him.  One, that I am not in the habit of sending men I barely know pictures of my cooter, and two, I want to know what the pay-off is going to be for all of this.  I’m sorry, but at this point in my life, I want to know what the fuck I might be getting out of all of this!  Is this just supposed to be let’s sext each other, and then you have pics to whack off to, or is this work actually going to end in post-coital cuddling after a 3 hour sex marathon??  Because if it’s not the latter, forget it!  Does that sound selfish?  Maybe so, but I let him know that being in my 40’s, I know what I want, I know what I like, and basically that I’m not interested in doing a bunch of work, and using a bunch of my precious time doing all of this, if there’s no pay-off!  I’m all for having a fuck buddy, or a friend with benefits, especially when it’s a smokin’ hot 30 year old, but really?

It is now Sunday morning, and I haven’t gotten any sort of reply from him.  It is quite possible I will never hear from him again.  That’s too bad, because he is quite “fuckalicious”!

On Becoming a Cougar

Cougar:  An “older,” experienced woman who happens to find herself in a sexual relationship (committed or not) with a younger man. She is not necessarily a slut, nor is she desperate. She offers sexual expertise and is open to new experiences. She simply wants to have fun. Though older, she may actually look younger than her “hook-up.” She is attractive, confident, and just wants to have fun. She will not attempt to trap her mate into marriage, children or even an exclusive relationship. She is not interested in drama or games, as that would interfere with the pleasure she enjoys.
My friend says I’m a cougar because I’m having sex with a younger guy, but I didn’t hunt him down – he approached ME!
Let’s just get this straight–I have never set out to intentionally hook up with a guy much younger than me.  Frankly, I have wondered how men and women do it.  What do you have in common with someone who is, perhaps, 15 years younger than you?  Most likely it’s not much, but does that mean you can’t have any relationship?  I have begun to contemplate this very question after being messaged by quite a few younger guys on POF.
Yes, you remember POF (Plenty of Freaks)?  POF and I have a real love/hate relationship.  Basically I hate the fact that I love attention.  I am a fucking attention whore.  I admit it.  I love it.  And when it’s attention from 30-something smokin’ hotties?  I adore it!  Right now I am speaking specifially of one, dark-haired, blue-eyed, lickable pecs, 30 year old man.  Guess what?  He messaged me.  That’s right.  I don’t search for 30 year old guys.  The youngest I search is 35, because usually, I am not a cougar.  I am totally considering making an exception at this point though.
Why would I make an exception?  First of all because he’s hot.  A lot hotter than any 40  year old man I’ve seen recently.  Not to mention, he messaged me.  Plus, I’m pretty sure it would just be all about sex, but at this point that is sounding quite appealing.  Did I mention he’s hot?  🙂
What do you think?  Do you think I can do what so many have men have done for years, and many more women are doing now?  Can I have a May-December romance?  I’m thinking I might like to try.

Can you love my dark side?

I have never met a man strong enough to love my dark side.  Maybe one doesn’t exist.





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