Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the month “October, 2013”

Halloween Tweet

I think adults should be able to trick or treat….at the liquor store!!!

Fall Tweet

Definitions: 

Burning Bush:  a shrub which turns bright red in the fall.

Burning Bush:  what your crotch feels like when you try to Nair the hair off of it. 

Trick or Tweet

Some days my house screams ADD, some days my house screams OCD, other days my house just screams. 

I Want To See You Be Brave

Challenge yourself, speak up, find your voice and sing your own personal song, don’t take shit from anyone, love who you are or find the courage to change yourself. Be you. Be brave!

Time Travel

where were you when I was 20
and reckless
my heart and soul
and legs
spread open wide
for all to see the depth of me

where were you when I was 30
and apprehensive
my mind and heart
and legs
closed to him
because he didn’t understand the depth of me

where were you when I was 40
and fearful
my soul and heart
and arms
padlocked to all
because I had been wounded to my very core

you are here when I am 44
and exhausted
my mind and heart
and soul
only wanting to
find that one man with the untarnished key

Tweet and Sour

Granny panties and an unshaved cooter and legs—the ultimate female cock block.

Tweet Tooth

Word to the wise: If you don’t want to fall in love with me, you best not eat my cooking.

Jeepers, creepers, where’d you get . . . .that beard?? WTF?

glamour-breads-003-09182013

If you’re in need of a good belly laugh today– and seriously, who couldn’t use one of those at least a couple of times a day?—get your ass over and check out the Glamour Beards!! Do I find this so humorous because I paid for some of those Glamour Shot things in the early 90’s??

http://www.bromygod.com/2013/09/19/glamour-beards-latest-internet-trend/

My Tweet…

Lessons learned:  Great Clips should change their name to Mediocre Clips, or Marginal Clips, because you get what you pay for.

Grab Your Beakers

chemistry

Chemistry.  So amazing, yet so perplexing.  I have been obsessing about it recently.  The topic came up Saturday night, when I was chatting with a friend.  Here’s what I want to know from you, dear WP friends:

1.  Is chemistry something that you either have or you don’t?  Meaning, can it be “manufactured” during the course of a relationship, or does it have to be there from the beginning?

2.  If you believe it can be “manufactured”, does it quickly wane because it wasn’t there right away?

3.  Do you think a relationship is doomed if you have no chemistry with someone?

4.  What are your experiences with relationships in where there’s been chemistry/no chemistry?

I have a ton of other questions, but am so looking forward to reading replies, and generating some talk about this topic!  Hope you are willing to participate!

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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.

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insert witticism

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I eat books for breakfast.

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The Good Greatsby

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SATIRE, TWITTER, DRIVEL