Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the category “Poetry”

Wishbone

my exterior is tough

weathered

marked by battle scars

as is the heart which beats within my chest

but my bones

are those of the robin

who arrives to signal spring

hollow

airy

easily crushed under foot

you broke my wish bone

with your dishonesty

and now I cannot fly

what good is a bird

who is grounded

 

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Reciprocity

they always love someone else

regardless of how much you love them

their heart belongs to another

so either you give your love freely

or not at all

knowing it will never be returned

all the while

adding layers to your outer shell

until you’re a papier-mache person

trying to protect what lies within

with mere paste and newsprint

torn from the social pages

announcing engagements

weddings

anniversaries

but your picture won’t be there

because your black and white world

lies within the obits

as your heart dies a little each day

from lack of reciprocity

 

 

Ischemic Colitis

You kept quiet about it
stuffed it
so deep down inside of you
it threatened to strangle your innards
ischemic colitis
years of shit you’ve swallowed
backed up
twisted
pieces of you dying
as you struggle to keep living
be a good girl
keep quiet
don’t draw any attention to yourself
with what you wear
or say
or drink
or think
they’re stronger than you
they know better than you
they have more money and power than you
so you shrink
and keep shrinking
now so afraid to stand and speak your truth
all you can manage
is to curl into a ball in the corner
and they kick you when you’re down
add insult to injury
why do you dare to be who you are
and live life on your own terms
Susan B and Elizabeth C
rolling over in their graves
because your body is still not your own
and some men still want to govern it
by wielding their dicks over you like a sword
letting you know
you’re still a second class citizen
who needs to bow down
and shut the fuck up
and remain in your corner

Anxiety Onset

It creeps in silently

on tiptoes of cotton

unbeknownst to me

until it’s screaming

in my head

and filling every cell of my body

with fear

and self-loathing

and I want to take a hammer

and beat it out of me

because tears threaten to over spill

the rims of my eyes

and pour down my cheeks

and I hate them

for thinking they can flow

whenever they want to

and I hate myself even more

because I have no control

over any of it

 

*What today’s panic attack felt like.

 

 

Crime Scenes

 

I leave lip prints

where only you can see them

as a reminder

of where my mouth has been

 

I cover myself with fingerprint powder

so I can see the

whorls

loops

and arches

your hands left upon my feverish skin

 

Clues

in the crimes of passion we commit

in our minds

 

 

 

 

Reality Suspended

Cigar smoke

is suspended in the air

as is the impression of my red lips

on the side of the bourbon glass

what started as friendly conversation

and side splitting laughter

has led to abandoned articles of clothing

a trail

ending at the big four poster bed

in the cabin in the woods

where we secretly meet

to touch the deepest parts of each other

which no one else has touched in such a long time

 

 

Acrophobia

no man has ever found

my broken to be beautiful

they’ve only used the cracks

to slip their lies into me

as they offer a hand to stand

so they can then pull the rug out from under me

stay down

they say

you’re not fit to walk amongst us

the beautiful

the blessed

the best

it has been decreed

you shall forever be

the bullied girl on the playground

(no one coming to your rescue)

with no place to escape

because the monkey bars are too high

and I’m afraid of heights

 

 

 

 

Parchment

how long until my skin

becomes paper

thin as the crepe de chine

abandoned in the back of your closet

full of moth holes

forgotten after Senior Prom ’65

where once there was buoyancy

and the ability to reproduce

now the organism

withers and dies

starving

void of the nourishment

of human touch

if only you could

wrap it up in tissue

and send it to me special delivery

the words

‘handle with care’

stamped upon my battered flesh (instead of the box it arrives in)

and whispered in my brain

ad nauseam

like a broken record

daring you to heal

what was long since destroyed

by angry hands

 

 

 

 

 

Dilapidated Hearts

house

They tore it down

along with everything

that was left of us

rafters exposed

building bones stripped bare

of everything once held dear

(love)

(respect)

(laughter)

left exposed to the elements

to warp and rot

ofttimes the way love does

too much space left in between

the studs

16, 24

the years pushing them further apart

instead of bringing them closer together

cracks

in the foundation of promises

shingles pulled back from the roof

after weathering too many storms and harsh words

which couldn’t be repaired once spoken

leaving a breach

for the rains to permeate

and fester

the black mold

which brought it all down

Transfusion

Gray

is the color of my heart

until you bleed life blood back into it

red

like the flush of my lips

like the paint on my nails

seeking

the warmth of your skin

the taste of the martini left in your mouth

 

 

 

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