Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the month “January, 2012”

Love Goggles

Yes, they are related to beer goggles.  But beer goggles are much easier to take off than love goggles.  Beer goggles last until the next morning.  Hell, who are we kidding?  Sometimes they only last a few hours.  But love goggles?  Shit, those things can stay on for years.  And they’re not just slightly tinted, like a cheap pair of dollar store sunglasses.  Love goggles are like that illegal tint on your windows–not only can you not see in, you can barely see out either.  Yep, they totally blind you to nearly everything.

This being said, I send a plea out to all my friends–the next time I fall in love, please do me a favor and tell me if the guy is ugly.

To Medicate or Not to Medicate

This was supposed to be sort of a “technology free” night.  As you can tell it didn’t quite work out that way, since I am posting this blog.  I feel like I have to.  I am anxious, I am irritable.  I went off my anti-depressant about a week ago.  Yes, I did wean off it.  I’ve been on anti-depressants enough times to know the routine.  I went on it because I was irritable, anxious, homicidal, suicidal. . .I was fucking pissed off, and I wanted to just be done with it all.  But I really don’t.  I have my son, and some days, he’s the only thing that keeps me going, so I keep going.  So, I went back on an anti-depressant.  I tried Zoloft this time.  I hate them–the anti-depressants.  I detest them.  I don’t like the way they make me feel.  They make me feel dead inside.  Dead inside my head, and kind of dead inside my heart too.  That’s the feeling I don’t like.  I take them to avoid the feeling of wanting to kill myself, and they make me feel dead inside.  What the fuck??  And on top of it, as if I don’t have enough self-esteem issues, I have no motivation to exercise so it makes me gain weight.  Of course I don’t have to worry about having no sex drive while I’m on it, because it isn’t like I even have the opportunity to get laid.  But I took it for awhile, so I could feel better, so I could continue going to work and pay my bills.  And it helped for awhile, but then it started making me more depressed.  I usually have quite a bit of energy, and am constantly on the go, but I would just end up laying on the couch all weekend and not accomplishing anything, so I would feel worse.  It’s a vicious cycle.  So I stopped taking them again. . . and now I’m wondering if I made the right decision.  Is there something else wrong with me besides anxiety?  I originally went on it because I was so anxious I was having anxiety attacks, not because I was depressed.  At least I didn’t feel depressed.  Why can’t I just be normal?  Why do I always seem to have issues?  I know this entry has been laced with insanity, and probably not made any sense whatsoever, and I apologize.  I had to write this shit down though.  I don’t know what else to do at this point.

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