Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the month “April, 2012”

I Wanna Go Back

25 years.  I graduated from high school 25 years ago.  Yeah, I know I don’t look a day over 35, so that’s hard to believe, but it’s true.  I am 43 years old.  I lived through 501’s and hair bands. . . god I really miss both of those things!  I miss high school too, but only to a point.  School was not easy for me.  Don’t misunderstand–I’m not talking about not easy education-wise, I’m talking about not easy social-wise.  I know school isn’t easy for most people social-wise, so I am certainly not the exception, but the thought of attending this upcoming 25 year reunion has got me thinking a lot about this.

A few months ago I was really excited to go, but now the closer it gets, the more I am feeling like I don’t want to go.  I went to 15–it was pretty casual, just a picnic at the lake, and it was fun, but that’s probably  because only one of the girls talked to me and I sat around and bullshitted with the guys.  Basically just like high school–I preferred hanging out with the guys as opposed to the girls, and the girls still think I’m a bitch!  lol  When 20 rolled around I was  lean and mean and had every outfit picked out and was ready to go!  Only problem was I had had my hysterectomy about 10 days before it, and a root canal about 5 days before it, and I ended up with this really weird killer headache that sent me to the emergency room, so I didn’t even make it to the reunion but spent the weekend in the hospital instead.  And even though my brother actually cooked for it, he said there were only a couple people that came up and asked him where I was.  So, no one really missed me not being there, and I do believe everything happens for a reason.

Do I really want to go to 25?  It’s not like anything has changed since 15.  Well, my ex-best friend isn’t married to my ex-husband anymore, since now he’s divorced her too, so I guess that part has changed.  But have I changed?  Well, I am still single, which will still piss the girls in my class off, and I’m not as thing as I was when I missed 20.  I am more successful, and probably make more money than a lot of the girls and maybe even more than some of the guys, and I own my own home.

My point is, what difference does it make?  Why do I want to go back?  So I can compare myself to all the other girls in my class?  So I can feel fat, or lonely, or like an underachiever?  So I can remind myself what a living hell high school actually was instead of this really fun pipe dream I’ve managed to create in my head when in reality I was getting drunk, having sex with guys I didn’t care about, getting pregnant and being ostracized by most everyone including parents?  I think I want to go back as a big “fuck you”.  You know, basically just to let them know that most of them don’t make a damn bit of difference.  In the grand scheme of things what are most of those people?  A fairly insignificant part of my life.  I am in contact with the ones I care about, and most of the other ones I can find out what they’re doing thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook.

For now I guess the debate will rage on.  I will probably hash and rehash it a million times before Memorial Day Weekend finally rolls around, but I will be sure and let you know what I decide.  Enjoy the tune from the fabulous Eddie Money!

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Drive By

Train has a new album that comes out soon.  It’s called California 37 and I got to hear it on Sirius on my drive home tonight.  I had already heard Drive By, and I love it. . .it’s catchy, it speaks volumes, and there is a man I sent it to the other day to let him know I mean business. . .I think maybe he got the hint. . .here’s the link:

 

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