Fat Bottom Girl Said What

Playgrounds

How many people’s lives are you allowed to ruin

in your own search for happiness?

Surely it is finite

maybe at some point the universe will stop you

but maybe not

You would think there would be a limit to one’s suffering

and sorrow

but it seems there isn’t

The world is always the kid

standing at the top of the slipper slide

waiting to kick you back down

after you’ve struggled

gripped the sides tight

dug in the toes of your tennis shoes

climbing up that slippery slope

to the peak where the happiness seems to reside

Silly girl

you’ll always be the not thin enough adolescent in polyester shorts

whose thighs rub together

who gets made fun of on the playground

and nobody wants to slow dance with in junior high

I Hate You

There is no love for my body

only hate

No matter how much I weigh

it is always too much

Men will say “I love curvy women”

But what they really mean is

“I love thin women with full breasts and hips but I do not love you because you are fat and that does not equal curvy”

I am 49 and there is no peace to be made

with this carcass

I will go to my grave hating it

for being ugly

White Noise

You’re still out there

seeking approval

from men pretending to care about you

giving them what they want

just in time for them to disappear like apparitions

And you

ever transparent

they see into your heart

and use your dreams against you

trust no one

the voices tell you

but the words get lost in translation

and it’s all just white noise

to a girl who

can’t seem to let go of hope