Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the tag “fan club”

Welcome To The Big Top

Desperately, she wanted to know how much he cared, because at times, her insecurities drove her to doubt everything.

Patiently, as always,

He replied thus,

My dear, if the circus came to town, I would don tights and a cape and climb the ladder all the way up to the tiny platform where I would then walk the tightrope without a net just for you.

To which she replied,

My dear, there would be no need to fear a fall, as I would be there to catch you.

He replied thus,

My dear, I would climb inside the cage with a lion and stick my head inside the fierce beast’s jaws whilst holding a greasy double cheeseburger between my teeth!

To which she replied,

My dear, after you removed your head from the lion’s jaws I would wipe the beast’s slobber from your pate, and kiss you on it.

He replied thus,

My dear, I would recite dirty limericks and sing you bawdy love songs whilst riding a unicycle and juggling knives.

To which she replied,

My dear, if you happened to drop a knife and cut yourself after hitting a bump, I would doctor your wounds with Batman band-aids and balance the unicycle while you got back on for another go.

He replied thus,

My dear, as you sit in your special reserved front row seat with the velvet cushion, I would have a corn dog and a funnel cake delivered to you so you could snack on them while watching me put on this show for you, my biggest fan.

To which she replied,

My dear, I would clap and wolf-whistle and cheer loudly, because I will always be the president of your fan club, and will be the first in line to buy a ticket to any of your performances, and always hand you a Route 44 Cherry Limeade when you are done.

He replied thus,

So, my dear, if you don’t now know how much I care, I might as well tear down the big top.

To which she replied,

Don’t you dare! It’s clear you adore me and my quirky ways, as I adore you and your quirky ways, and we have years of performances ahead of us!

 

 

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