Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the tag “oral sex”

tongue speak

your tongue shall speak volumes

I eagerly await your recitations

syllables, meter, the morphology of it all

has me spewing jargon and expletives

the pitch and intonation of varying resonance

as you


the fuck out of me
with your literacy

you sir, are a cunning linguist

your particular sort of speech
music to the very core of my being

there shall never be an oral moratorium between us


Honey Do (it for a blowjob?) List

Most of the time I don’t mind mowing, but last night was an exception. Due to unusually high amounts of rainfall here in “Oz”, the grass is growing at an alarming rate. Add to the rate of growth the fact that it’s near impossible to get it mowed between rain showers, and the fact the humidity is hovering around 85%, and you’ve got a virtual perfect recipe for knee-high vegetation and mosquitoes the size of a small child. All of these factors led to me wondering what it would take to get a man to mow my lawn; actually, to get a man to do numerous chores around my house. The answer? Blowjobs!! Seriously, I can’t be the first woman who has thought of this, right?? What is one thing a man always seems to want, but can never get enough of?? Besides beer! Yep, blowjobs. BJ’s. Oral copulation. Wouldn’t that be a fair trade?? He mows the lawn – blowjob. He fixes the roof – blowjob. He lifts heavy shit and kills bugs – blowjob. I think this is a perfect solution, and there must be a man out there who would be willing to enter into this sort of arrangement with me. Maybe I will just need to place an ad in the paper.

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