Honey Do (it for a blowjob?) List
Most of the time I don’t mind mowing, but last night was an exception. Due to unusually high amounts of rainfall here in “Oz”, the grass is growing at an alarming rate. Add to the rate of growth the fact that it’s near impossible to get it mowed between rain showers, and the fact the humidity is hovering around 85%, and you’ve got a virtual perfect recipe for knee-high vegetation and mosquitoes the size of a small child. All of these factors led to me wondering what it would take to get a man to mow my lawn; actually, to get a man to do numerous chores around my house. The answer? Blowjobs!! Seriously, I can’t be the first woman who has thought of this, right?? What is one thing a man always seems to want, but can never get enough of?? Besides beer! Yep, blowjobs. BJ’s. Oral copulation. Wouldn’t that be a fair trade?? He mows the lawn – blowjob. He fixes the roof – blowjob. He lifts heavy shit and kills bugs – blowjob. I think this is a perfect solution, and there must be a man out there who would be willing to enter into this sort of arrangement with me. Maybe I will just need to place an ad in the paper.
Fat Bottom Girl Said What 
Where do you live?
I knew there had to be guys out there who would agree to that arrangement!! 😉
It’s like ringing the dinner bell! Hello!
lol
I’ll start with the lawn.
Be prepared! I have a long list.
So do I. Wait… What?!
hahaha
🙂
AHAHAHAA WINNNER WINNER!!!!
lmao…pavlov would love you!
Yes, my BJ brings all the boys to my yard. . . .now if they would just mow it!! hahaha
You my dear have this shit figured OUT! craigs list this shit! I cant stop laughing…I was going to say for the right amt of $ I would do it…BUT HELL…Ill just come over and well advertise for TWO for the price of one. While we sip on our drinks…lounge around…eat bons bons…this shit right here is GOLD…
I know some women don’t like doing it at all, but I don’t mind it, and men really seem to enjoy it, so I figure it’s definitely a win-win situation!! 🙂
OH..its a WIN WIN!!! and im IN IN! WOOP WOOP!
Should be a line in front of my house by the weekend, after I place the ad! Chris is going to be at the head of the line!! lol
Let me get packing!
Catch the first flight out! 🙂
The barter system is alive and well in Oz. Do you know how to cook decent fried chicken? That works, too.
Yes, I do, but I find what really reals them in is my chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes and gravy. Plus, I make a mean apple pie. 😉
And you don’t mind BJ’s? Are you for real? Or are you a guy pretending to be a girl and saying all the right things?
Nope, total chick. 🙂 Don’t mind BJ’s at all! Like sex on a daily basis, if I can get it. Can you believe some lucky guy hasn’t snatched me up yet??
damn…you’re on to something!!!
I think so!!
Or just simply on something!
I’m not one to mince words, or beat around the bush, you know. However, if my boldness doesn’t win you over, I’m not exactly sure what to do!! lol
Hoiw fast did you say that grass grows?
As much rain as we’ve had lately, it will be ready to cut again by this weekend. lol
That is great news…lol
And how many hours away is OZ?
Probably about 5 or 6 from where you’re at! lol
At least now I know where all the Alaska mosquitoes went.
Oh wait. That wasn’t really the subject of your post, was it.
No wonder I’m single.
I think I’d rather pay them in beer . . .
That’s pretty much what one of my friends said! lol
Did you see if it works yet?? 😉
Sadly, no takers yet, so I mowed again today.
FatBottom, This is awesome! Laughing sooooo hard right now, mama. Half of the fun is reading all the comments by the other adorable and funny humans. I absolutely LOVED Chris’ replies. Sorry, I will NOT be showing this post to my husband. LOL!
hahaha. . . .I keep hoping that line is going form outside my front door soon!! I love it when people comment!! Thanks for reading, even though you won’t let your husband! lol
Wellll…maybe I will show it to my hubby. He deserves some good writing and fun. We can share him. LOLOL!