I am floundering
Tripping
Stumbling
Falling
Not wanting to rise again
I can’t think about it because
I get a lump in my throat
My eyes threaten to cry
I feel sick to my stomach
I am uncertain
Unsure
Unstable
I don’t know how to make it through this
I will pretend
Masquerade
Bluff
Take so many deep breaths
That I shall eat up all the oxygen in the room
In an attempt to be okay
Still histrionic, still a bookwhore; just faking competence because of my kid.
i've choked on my words for far too long
It's not the length of life, but the depth.
This is my mind, it’s not supposed to make sense.
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Fat Bottom Girl Said What 
Raw. This is just raw and horribly brilliant.
Thank you, so much. I feel very raw today.
Painful. Beautiful. Wonderful, FBG.
Thanks Ned, I am hoping these feelings pass soon.
They will, I promise. Just hang in there. In the meantime, have a good Reuben sandwich, no 1000 Island, with a Fat Tire beer 😉
the painful void of in between full of doubts and fears, is a horrible place to be alone..HOPE: hold on, pain ends…the tattoo of my life
Thanks, I am trying.
i am not advocating for alcohol..but sometimes it helps to kick you in the pants…that or chocolate
I do tend to self-medicate with alcohol, which isn’t the best thing to do, but it helps me get through.
try taking a walk before you reach for a drink
That horrible feeling in your stomach.
xx
Good morning my beautiful, raw soul sister. I am here gently willing your third eye to open and your brilliantly noisy mind to become quiet in her persistence. ❤
God I hope that works!! 🙂
I love this piece, so beautifully sad, but I hate that you’re feeling this way. Long road ahead, but you’ll get through this.
Thank you. 🙂
I always try to keep my mountains small, try to not look too far ahead. This is a very hard time for you. Hang in there.
Thanks!
Ugh…I’m feeling you on this one sweetie!! That feeling in the pit of your stomach that just won’t leave you the hell alone. This was raw and heartfelt. Sending you a big hug! My best friend always says, “In through the nose. Out through the mouth.” I never know whether to hug or kick her when she says it, but I always do it and it seems to help a little xoxo
Never enough oxygen though!!
I know it sucks!!! Hoping you are feeling better today, sweetie. And I have a present for you tomorrow ♥♥♥
Wow. This is incredibly honest and it brings to mind exactly how I’ve felt many times. You evoke it amazingly well. I hope you’re hanging in there all right.
I know I will get through, I just don’t know how bumpy this particular road is going to be. 🙂
You WILL be okay. Because you already are.
I always forget I am okay.
I can remind you. And others will remind you. The mirror will remind you.
Thanks! 🙂