I’m not a “Mommy Blogger”. I have read those types of blogs before, and I have written about my family before, but if I were to categorize myself, I would be more of “questionable parenting moment blogger” than a mommy blogger.
For one reason, that’s not all I am. I’m not just a mom.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud of holding that particular title, but I’m so much more than a mom on any given day.
But I just came across a blog post, written by a blogger I follow, who was very upset about a fellow “mommy blogger”, Josi Denise, who came clean about her long term blog and what went on behind the scenes. You can find Josi’s post here.
This blogger I follow, whose posts I usually enjoy reading, though I would never consider her a “mommy blogger”, felt Josi launched “a vitriolic attack” on mommy bloggers, and stated what Josi did was “women to women misogyny”. (I choose not to link to this other person’s blog, as she has a large number of followers, and I have no desire to draw ire from a horde of followers.)
I read Josi’s post, and I took something totally different away from it than it seems she did.
First of all, I have to say I would agree with some of Josi’s points.
Which, probably means nothing, because what do I really know about blogging, let alone big business blogging, where everyone is looking for you to sell shit for them by paying you. You know, like a job. A job where you get paid to do things you may or may not agree with in exchange for cold hard cash. Cold hard cash that feeds your kids and pays your internet bill so you can write more fluffy crap to gain more followers to make more cold hard cash.
Yeah, I wouldn’t know anything about that side of blogging, because that will never be me. I’m not really looking to do anything with my blog except get shit out of my head, and I don’t have any dreams of becoming a novelist. I mean sure, writing a book which would actually sell and make money would be awesome, but I try to be realistic.
Back to my original points though! It sounds to me like Josi is giving people a warning about the seedy underbelly of the blogging world, and the kind of path it can take you down. I get that this other blogger feels she did it in the wrong way, but Josi didn’t mention names of blogs, so I would hope all the women bloggers out there wouldn’t take it personally, and would be able to stand behind whatever their personal reasons for blogging are.
For me personally, I’m so used to being picked on for being a blogger in general, that I really couldn’t give two shits about this Josi chick or what she says. I could’ve taken it personally when I read a post this fellow blogger reposted yesterday on Facebook, which was written by another female blogger who said she was tired of everyone “bleeding” all over their blogs. I write very emotional and depressing things sometimes, so I could have taken this to heart, but I didn’t.
I write what I want to write when I want to write it. Therein lies the beauty of the blog, and in any form of writing—if someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to read it. We are not mindless zombies, we have the power to choose.
I think when blogs get huge, whether it’s a “Mommy” blog, or a humor blog, or a cooking blog, they become a different beast, and cross over into a social media platform where everything takes on a different meaning. Just like Facebook, or Twitter, or other sites, the fact remains people can use social media however they choose–to pretend their life is better than it seems, to garner attention, to make money, to rail about what an asshole their current/ex boyfriend/girlfriend is, or to share their love of Jesus and bunches of pictures of their dog.
But once again, I still hold the power to choose how I react to social media. I can scroll by. I can choose to feel someone is speaking directly to me. I can take it personally enough that I can choose to start a discourse about it, which is what this blogger I follow did, and in turn, I am choosing to post my own thoughts on what I read on her blog.
Secondly, regarding her feelings of “women to women misogyny”, this may sound harsh, but I don’t believe I’m responsible for building up every woman in this world. Neither should I tear them down, but after 47 years on this earth, I pick and choose my battles too.
Sometimes wisely, sometimes not so wisely, but honestly, life is dog eat dog, and I spend too much of my day just trying to maintain my own life, and take care of people I love. So I can’t rally behind her feeling that what Josi Denise did is misogynistic.
Will I rally about equal rights? Hell yes!
Will I rally about stopping domestic violence and rape and sexual assault? Hell yes!
Will I rally because some “former mommy blogger” has brought to light the greed mill which is big blogging? Fuck no.
Because to me, it’s not a battle worth fighting.