Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the tag “acceptance”




I sawed

and I chopped off

pieces of myself

trying to fit into the box

you made for me

tossing away

and shedding

all of those things

which made me


I rearranged


and deconstructed

the only me

I had ever known

and still

there was never enough room

in your heart-shaped box

for all the space

that I encompass

for all that I am


Practicing Acceptance

After 12 years I feel as if I have failed you.  I’m not claiming I was always the best mother, but I am the mother who will always love you the best, and love you the most.  But I feel like I have failed you.  I always thought I would be able to create another family for you.  I had hoped to do that–to meet a really great guy who was really good for both of us, one that would love you like you were his own.  One that would love you simply because you are a part of me, because that would be how much he loves me, and because he would know how much I love you.  But I didn’t do that, so I failed you.  After the third time, your dad finally got it right, and now you have a really great step-mom.  She doesn’t try to be your mom and replace me, but she is just a natural nurturer, and she’s good to you.  You like that family atmosphere that your dad’s marriage gives you, and I don’t blame you.  That’s all I ever wanted after my parents divorced.  I just wanted that family again; to be a part of something.  I wanted to get married, and have kids, at least a couple, and have that family.  But that didn’t happen.  The dream was nothing like the reality, and it was over before it started.  I feel like I can’t give you what you feel like you need right now, and that breaks my heart.  Up until now I haven’t ever felt that way.  I felt like the way things were was good enough.  I still felt like I was doing a good enough job, and that I was giving you everything you needed.  I don’t feel that way now.  Someday, you will understand why that breaks my heart.  Why every time I let the reality of you not being here slip into my waking brain, that it is physically painful for me.  Do you know what the worst part is?  I know that I have to learn to be okay with it.  I have to learn to accept it, or it will kill me.  And it won’t kill me quickly.  Doing what is right, and doing what is best, are usually some of the hardest things you will ever have to do in life, and in time you will come to realize this.  I just want you to know this is one of the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and it’s because I love you so much.

Post Navigation

Sparklebumps: The Mother Version

Still histrionic, still a bookwhore; just faking competence because of my kid.


i've choked on my words for far too long


It's not the length of life, but the depth.

My musings

This is my mind, it’s not supposed to make sense.

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Lets Its Hair Down

Fighting the Myth

Shining the light of truth on delusion

The Haunted Librarian

Researching, investigating, and writing about the paranormal.


You either get it... or you don't.


Inky blackness, a yawning void ~

Eye Will Not Cry

"Eye Fly High"

The Roar Sessions

A weekly series edited by Jena Schwartz

Beth Teliho

Read. Ingest the words. Like little blue pills, they will affect you.

kirilson photography

the stories behind the pictures, and vice versa


Just my thoughts for all to behold

Ann Oblivion Blog

🍃 Fully Living The Unfinished Things Of Life Through Writings. 🍃

Sweet Spell

A baking and dessert blog.

Daniel Aegan

Writer, Tarot Reader, Designer

Annabel Vita

a little bit of this and a little bit of that

Even at Your Darkest

Seeking Beauty Beyond the Scars

insert witticism

The home of Emma O'Brien

shatteredtalon's Blog

The musings of a scorpion who would have been an eagle


I blog now. I know, I can't believe it either.

The Good Greatsby

Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved...by somebody rich and famous.