I can only hope. . .
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Fat Bottom Girl Said What
When my ass talks, people listen.
The Island of Misfit People
“I feel broken. I feel different than everyone else.”
“How long have you felt this way?”
“For as long as I can remember. Even as I child I felt it.”
“I never knew. I don’t know why you feel that way.”
“Me neither. Maybe it’s just my nature. Maybe it’s just who I am and I need to accept it instead of trying to change it.”
“I am sorry you feel that way.”
“I am sorry only in the sense that I feel like it makes me difficult to love. Also, because I think my feeling of brokenness makes me attractive to broken men, and vice versa. It makes me think I will never have a normal relationship, because I am too broken. Why would any man who isn’t as broken as me, want to love me?”
Photo Credit: favim.com
Raise The Bar
Photo Credit: rehabtime.org
One Night Stand
Photo Credit: Harvey Nichols Walk of Shame Christmas Cards http://www.mirror.co.uk
walk of shame
played the game
what’s your name
whose to blame
I need the fame
now don’t feel the same
I’m just some dame
walk of shame
*I have never been fond of verse that rhymes for some reason, but am quite aware this one does. It might also be considered a type of alliteration. Really, I don’t have to have a name for it, and don’t really know why I am explaining myself–I used it specifically for effect.
guilt
your icy tendrils grip my heart
you claw at my gut
my head reels from you
I am unable to escape
though I run
knowing I can’t slow down
because at every turn
there you are
why do you pursue me so
you stalk me
you hunt me down wherever I am
the only relief it seems
will come from death
whether it be of me or you
I know not
Photo Credit: mare-of-night.deviantart.com
Cock-Eyed Optimist
Photo Credit: thesinglenester.com
Yep, that’s me. Always seeing the potential in a man. “A victim of my own optimism” on numerous occasions. I have high expectations of myself, and therefore tend to have high expectations of men I become involved with. I know. . . most of them never seem to live up to the expectations, but I continue to have them! Is this the same as believing someone can change? Yes, I think it’s very similar, and we all know we can’t go into a relationship with someone expecting them to change. I wouldn’t want someone to go into a relationship with me, and expect me to change, so it seems silly for me to expect that. And, I can sit around and say that I don’t expect them to change, that I like them just as they are, but when it comes to the majority of the guys I’ve been with in the last 12 years, that isn’t true. Really, there were these glaring things about them I knew I couldn’t live with, but I glossed them over with my cock-eyed optimism.
I need to remember what Maya Angelou says, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” The first time The Fuck Stick kicked me and left the bruise on my leg he showed me exactly who he was, and I didn’t believe him. The second time, when he pushed me down and I almost hit my head on the paving stones, he confirmed it, and I knew, but I ignored him. The third time when he cut my face open, and had his hands around my throat, all optimism went out the window, and I saw him for the total fuck stick he was(is!).
I want to be optimistic about love, but I don’t want to be foolish. I want to be strong enough to walk away from men when they show me they aren’t worthy of my time. If they’re not worthy, and I stay, it is out of a sense of desperation, and I’m not desperate. I don’t need to be desperate. I just need to be happy.
Damage Control
I went to watch your daughter ride her horse last night
She said the last time she had seen you was at her graduation
That maybe she spoke five words to you
She is angry
She feels like you abandoned her
She doesn’t like your new wife
And it makes me glad
I was never put in that position
Not to say I told you so
However I tried to warn you
Years ago
But your need to run
Was greater than your devotion to your daughters
The whole thing breaks my heart
But there is nothing I can do about it
You shut me out of your life
Cast me off
Like dead weight
In your attempt to run faster
And farther
Away from your decisions
Instead of standing behind what you knew
In your heart was right
I hope some day
You realize what you are missing out on
And that you also try
To repair the damage that has been done
Because even though she might not need a lot
She will always need her daddy
Fini
Fini
Poisoned memory
of forgotten love
You, a beast with a snout
in princely clothing
Me, bloodied by your volatility
In those moments you killed instantly,
every small kindness
Take your bow,
this is the end
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass
Kira, over at My Pen, My Sword, started Wordle Wednesdays awhile back, and immediately I was addicted! She was on hiatus for a bit, dealing with some personal issues, but recently came back. So glad you’re back, Kira, and am happy you brought back Wordle Wednesday too, now with its very own site! Go visit Wordle Wednesdays, and get your creative juices flowing with a little poetry!
**I struggled putting this poem together. Usually they come very easily to me, the words just fly off the page at me, I grab them, arrange them, and am done in a couple minutes time. It didn’t happen that way today. I feel so shut down right now, like I can’t hardly write, the words won’t come because I have no feelings about anything right now.
Me to a ‘T’
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Fat Bottom Girl Said What 