The Island of Misfit People
“I feel broken. I feel different than everyone else.”
“How long have you felt this way?”
“For as long as I can remember. Even as I child I felt it.”
“I never knew. I don’t know why you feel that way.”
“Me neither. Maybe it’s just my nature. Maybe it’s just who I am and I need to accept it instead of trying to change it.”
“I am sorry you feel that way.”
“I am sorry only in the sense that I feel like it makes me difficult to love. Also, because I think my feeling of brokenness makes me attractive to broken men, and vice versa. It makes me think I will never have a normal relationship, because I am too broken. Why would any man who isn’t as broken as me, want to love me?”
Not to diminish what you said, but I think all of us are broken in some way — or at least bent. When that song, “Bent,” came out, I immediately connected with it.
‘Can you help me I’m bent/I’m so scared that I’ll never/Get put back together/Keep breaking me in/And this is how we will end/With you and me bent.’
Well said…and maybe it is something we need to accept rather than try to change.
Yes, I like that song! So I guess others feel broken too??
Well, I know I do. Can’t speak for others, but don’t we all tote our own baggage? One person feels unlovable because she hates herself; another will never trust because his parents were alcoholics and he learned to build a wall; yet another is attracted to the wrong type of man because she grew up in an abusive home and that’s what she knows.
And then there’s me, who has had so many people die in my lifetime that I am constantly in fear of losing a friend or a family member, or even losing my own life. I mean, we all die, right? But because I have been attending funerals for family and friends since I was a child, I worry to the point of obsession. I worry all the time that some freak thing will happen. I know it’s not normal, but I can’t seem to make it stop.
I’m definitely bent or broken. π
That’s what I love about blogging—just when I think I am the only person in the world who feels a certain way, or has had a particular experience, I find out I am wrong, that there are numerous people out there who feel the same! Makes me feel not so lonely. π
I’m with you, Stuck. That song hit me in the solar plexus the first time I heard it because it was so true.
Agreed. And I love the name, ‘Nagzilla.’ Have you been talking to my husband?? LOL
Don’t dispair. There is a good right man out there for you. You have a lot going for you.
Thanks Tom! Maybe some day. . . .
Amen, sista!
I’m a major misfit. Many of the words of your post here hit home for me. I actually found another misfit. Misfits fit well together and it can be a good thing. It happens, I promise.
Thanks dear! And congrats on being FP! I keep hoping some day maybe I will get FP through osmosis. . .you know, kind of like an STD! lol
ell, we already know I’m a misfit, and all kinds of guys like me…so at least I got to pick out of a full broken toy bin….
Well, that’s good. I have no idea whether any guys like me. If they do, they sure have a strange way of showing it, because my phone never rings!! lol
I didn’t know so many others felt this way until we started opening up with blogs, classes, book clubs, or whatever. My mother’s favorite thing to say was that no one could love me because there was something wrong with me. I was unlovable. I carried that most of my life but am finally ready to put it down. We’re all such unique treasures who are worthy.
Oh, how sad that your own mother said that to you!! You are so right when you say we are all worthy of love!! π I was never told I wasn’t worthy, but still carry the feeling of brokenness and don’t know why. I would like to set it down too. . . on the side of the road, or drop it in a big dumpster somewhere. . . .