Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

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Whitewash

It all comes back to black

the color of rot and death

and a murder of crows

and of my insides

since I came across you

I want so much to shed the cloak of it

and experience other colors again

like red

the red of your blood

flowing from your nose

as my fist connects with it

gushing from your head

as the perfectly timed swing of my bat unites with your thick skull

dropping a trail from your bottom lip

as the back of my hand meets your lying mouth

but still

the red cannot compete with the black

so I wait for a source of light

to wash over me

and dilute it

and make it gray

Cleaning Day

i scrub and scrub and scrub

my skin wears thin

from the scraping of the brillo pad

it makes no difference

i am still dirty

i add cleanser

i am still not clean

i put the bleach bottle to my lips

and drink

because i realize the dirtiness

has penetrated my soul

oh how it burns on the way down

and i know that must mean it’s working

but it doesn’t clean me

and only leaves a hole the size of a quarter in my stomach

you stupid bitch

i say to myself in the mirror

you disgust me

the scars he left have dug their filthy tendrils

too deeply into me

they are ingrained

maybe he was right

no one else will ever love me

Humidity

the air is heavy

like a piece of wet cheesecloth over my face

it hampers my breath

 

my heart is heavy

like a clogged swimming pool pump

it doesn’t want to move the blood through the chambers

and back out again

 

I tap my finger on my forehead

1…2…3 times

3 more times

somehow I think this might stop the tears

that spring from my eyes

but I’m wrong

 

some days nothing stops them

because the loneliness penetrates too deeply

and nothing seems right with the world

 

 

 

 

For We’ve Chosen Fear — The Seeker’s Dungeon

Love is a struggle, so we’ve chosen fear. It is easy. It drips off us like hot butter. We are covered in it. And though it burns and scars us, when it curdles in a puddle beneath our feet, like pigs, we lie on the ground and roll in it. We stink, but it gives […]

via For We’ve Chosen Fear — The Seeker’s Dungeon

Attention Whore

sick

from drinking the poison

spoon fed to you

facebook

twitter

instagram

snapchat

feed your attention whoring self

on the crumbs they throw you

likes

hearts

retweets

you gorge yourself

choking on it

a cock you’re sucking

like a teat

to feed your narcissistic ways

all the while

turning your heart black

the osmosis

of social media rot

permeates your sense of self

while your mind shrivels

to the size of pea

neurons firing

the adoration of those who don’t even know you

pinging the pleasure centers

of your brain

spread your legs wide

wider

let them all see

what a dirty little cunt you are

and just what you’ll do for

attention

 

 

You’re Not Worthy

You’re amazing and intelligent and have a wonderful sense of humor and you’re beautiful

but I only want to. . .

fuck you behind my wife’s back

sext with you and get you to send me dirty pictures to get off to

lie to you about everything that counts

continually crush your hopes and dreams until you have none left

control you with my words and fists to break your spirit

tell you I love you but never show you

say I’m dedicated to you, but fuck other women every chance I get

disrespect you

 

 

Ectoparasites

I let the air caress my skin because no man wants to

and because lonely is a tick which has embedded itself in me

and injected me with its poison

and my soul is sick with the loneliness fever

and it’s only a matter of time until my body succumbs to the disease

 

 

 

 

Semantics

The words will never come

when you want them,

and rarely show up when you need them.

The words were you.

You were never there.

While at the same time,

words were all you were.

Such a way with words you had.

It’s always the words that draw me in,

and do me in.

And it’s always the words that fail me.

And in sweet irony, it’s the words that save me.

Every damn time.

Memory Trace

I’m certain that neither one of us

know the other

and what I did know of you

I have most likely forgotten

I can’t recall the way you kissed

or what your hands felt like upon my skin

or whether I asked you to dance

or you asked me

it was so long ago

25 years give or take

and now we are both

nearly totally different people

after scars have formed on our hearts

so what are we to do

do we go our separate ways

once again

or do we try to recall

what brought us together in the first place

 

 

 

Coming Up Empty

she sought love wherever she could find it

in the back seats of cars

or dorm rooms

or on picnic tables at the lake

it really didn’t matter

she had no shame

when it came to seeking love

 

the shame came after

but the love never did

 

 

 

 

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