While fucking off some time at work this morning, trying to avoid doing my actual job, I was perusing Overstock.com and found this. Batman Eau de Toilette. Yep, file this under WTF. What do you imagine Batman smells like? He hangs out in a fucking Batcave. I would imagine a Batcave smells like guano, and that can’t smell good. What man in their right mind would buy this shit? Just for future reference, you’re NEVER getting laid if you use Batman cologne.
This invoice just crossed me desk. Hammer bits and layered gel “pro” kneepads. WTF is wrong with my mind??
Which also reminds me of this great tune by Jackyl:
Hey boys and girls! Look what I got in the mail today from that stalker JWo! It’s my official thank you note for my Movember donation. I think it’s very nice that he took the time to send a personal, handwritten note, because I usually only get bills. And on top of thanking me for supporting his prostate region, er, uh, prostate cause he also included these sexy pictures to fuel my moustache ride fantasies! Next year can you and Chowderhead and about 10 other guys get together and do a whole calendar? But seriously, get your prostate checked!! Paging Ben Dover. . .Ben Dover. . .
Do you see it?
Maybe you missed it
Hidden behind my independence
My brashness and sarcasm
The word “fuck” flying out of my mouth at record speed
The unconventional hairdo
The tattoos
I don’t think it’s hard to see if you know what you’re looking for
Stop and look again.
Do you see the smile?
The kindness in the eyes?
The love for family and friends?
The loyalty to those I care about?
My kindness towards animals?
My sense of humor and wit?
My willingness to make an ass out of myself to hear other’s laughter?
You still don’t see it?
Then you must not be the man for me.
I wanted to be sitting in a refurbished opera house right now watching a big screen showing of one of my favorite Christmas musicals, White Christmas, but instead I am laying around on my couch sneezing and snotting with a head cold I woke up with. I am not a good sick person. I don’t like being sick. It pisses me off. I don’t want to lay around unless I decide I want to lay around! However, it’s cold outside and snowing, so who really wants to go out anyway? Since I couldn’t make it to the theatre today, I had to get my White Christmas fix on youtube. Maybe I should tell Santa I want a copy of it for Christmas.
Finally the damn tree is decorated and all the lights match! The bulb placement might not be perfect, but I can always make adjustments. Best thing about this tree? It makes a great night light and creates some major ambiance up in here. Too bad I don’t have a man to snuggle on the couch with and enjoy it. But, it’s on my Xmas list, so maybe Santa will bring him. 😉
I drew my line in the sand.
“Don’t cross it,” I told you.
You didn’t listen, so I tried to tell you again.
In different ways.
“This is my personal space, and I don’t want you in it.”
“You’re using up too much of my air and I’m finding it difficult to breathe.”
“I won’t allow you to swallow me whole, like I’m sure you’ve done to so many others.”
But once again, you didn’t listen.
So I walked away.
He’s the narcissistic fox, and I am the trusting gingerbread man.
run, run, as fast as you can,
don’t let him catch you,
he’s the narcissistic man
If you’ve been hanging around here for a couple of years reading the drivel I write, you’re probably aware I was in a relationship with a narcissist a couple of years ago. If you’re interested in going back, I talk about it here, and here. That was when I first started my blog, and I had about 2 followers at the time. I might possibly have a few more than that now. Anyway, fast forward to 2013, and here I am face to face with a narcissist again. What to do, what to do?
Holidays aren’t just for shaving my brother’s back, they’re also for catching up on hometown gossip. I come from a fairly small town of about 4,000 people, so I am always interested in what’s going on back home in “Peyton Place”. This year, the turkey wasn’t the only juicy tidbit I got. My brother informed me that the married elementary school secretary has been getting busy after hours with a male teacher’s aide. . . . on the principal’s desk!!! WTF?? Hey dumbass, you work in the school, and you aren’t aware there are video cameras all over the place? Whatever happened to kickin’ it old school and driving out into the country and humping in the back seat of your car? An elementary school has to be about one of the un-sexiest places I could think of.
The other story involved a married doctor who went home and professed his love for the married neighbor lady, to his wife. The interesting part of this story being that he told his wife he was leaving her for said married neighbor lady, but wanted to know if it didn’t work out with him and his new love, if he could come back. I can only hope her reply was, “Not only no, but fuck no!”.
Here’s what bothers me about this–it makes me feel like there’s no hope. If at some point I would manage to get a man, is he just going to cheat on me? My ex-husband cheated. I have had more than one boyfriend who has cheated. Could I even hope to have a relationship with a man who would be faithful? Maybe that’s the reason I’m still single.
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