Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the tag “dating”

29 Jul 2012

First Dates

I type this title, and am thinking, “First dates? I rarely even have a date, and usually if I have one, there isn’t a second, so maybe I should call it something else.” I guess I am being optimistic, and thinking maybe there will be a point I can write an entry called “Second Dates”!

So you remember me writing the other day about how my anxiety was totally kicking my ass over this first date thing–I was worried the guy wasn’t even going to show up, etc.?? Well, he did. He showed up. He was running a couple of minutes lates, but he texted me and let me know. Then he showed up!! He actually showed up. I know I shouldn’t act so stunned, because I think guys SHOULD do what they say they’re going to do, but a lot of the guys I’ve come across don’t usually do that.

Brownie points for him, he planned the date, and paid for pretty much everything except one of my beers. It is nice to go out with a guy who pays for everything. Not that he has to do that every time, but for the first date it is nice. It’s been so long since I’ve had a guy do that. The last guy I “dated”, thought everything was supposed to be dutch, and I was supposed to cook for him. I think I like old school dating.

We went to a car show, even though it’s about 108 degrees here today, and then headed to the bar for burgers and beer. I don’t think the conversation ever stalled–we’re both talkers, so it was easy to talk about lots of things. There was only one point when he was driving me home, that there was a couple of minutes of silence, and within those couple of minutes, I thought the silence was ok. . .that I could ride for a few miles in complete silence with this guy, and it would be okay. I think that in itself speaks volumes.

So, end of date, he comes in for a couple of minutes, we sit and chat, he says he should go, tells me he’d like to kiss me, so I let him! hahaha I told him I had a wonderful time, and he said he did too, and that he’d like to do it again, and I tell him I would too. So, I guess we’ll see what happens, because actions speak louder than words. Either way I will keep you posted!

Posted in Relationships, Uncategorized and tagged conversation, dating, first kisses

26 Jul 2012

I Am Woman!!

I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t be cool. The anxiety is starting to set in. I can’t control the fear he just won’t even show up. It has happened to me before, so every time that creeps into my head. It’s probably why I don’t date. I like to act tough, and think I’m this big risk taker, and brag about how I’m getting out there and trying, but then when it comes down to it, I fucking panic. Yep, full-fledged, holy shit, I think I really like this guy and what if he stands me up or worse yet I fall for him and he breaks my heart and fucks me over kind of panic. Yeah, I know that’s a run-on sentence–don’t judge, I’m having a fucking crisis here!! If the run-on sentence bothers you, you better prepare yourself, because this shit actually calls for a run-on paragraph!! Why is it that regardless of how long it’s been since you’ve been abused, that shit is right back there like it was yesterday when certain situations come up? I don’t want to live like a victim and hide in my house and never take a chance at love again dammit!! I want to survive, and thrive, and be all that I was meant to be before I met a couple of asshole guys, who mean nothing!! I will get through this, and if he doesn’t turn out to be “the one”, I will go on looking and trying to find someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated!! I do have to say this guy seems pretty cool. . .he’s successful, he’s driven, he’s fucking hilarious, he seems to get me and told me last night he finds me intriguing. WTF?? He must be insane!! He is coming here to take me out, and when I said something about picking a restaurant he asked me if I would be opposed to him planning the date. Are you kidding?? I can’t remember the last time a man planned a date for me. . .hard enough to remember the last time I had a date! It makes me feel kind of special, and I haven’t felt that way in a long time. But, the doubts creep in, and that negative self-talk starts—me telling myself I’m not special, and no one is ever going to think that. And then I say, stop it you stupid bitch!! You can’t do that!! You have to think you are fabulous and special, or no one else is ever going to think you are! Put your damn fat bottom girl pants on and hit it. You fucking got this! You can do this, and if he doesn’t like, then it’s his loss because you are amazing!! So take that all you other men who have come before the ones I am still going to meet! You will not defeat me! I shall rise again!! After all tomorrow is another day!! Oh, I’ll try to remember to get on here and let you know how the date went! 😉

Posted in Relationships, Uncategorized and tagged abuse, anxiety, dating, panic, survival | Leave a comment

16 Dec 2011

Old School

Tomorrow I am going to my hometown to attend a wrestling tournament. It’s not that I’m extremely interested in the wrestling, but the guy who I am going to see is. He wrestled in high school, and now his son wrestles and he coaches. He and I went to high school together. We weren’t in the same class, he’s a year older than me, but we were in band together, and we went to a fairly small high school. I suppose you could say we were friends in high school. Friends with chemistry, maybe. Definitely not “friends with benefits”, and we never dated. I didn’t really date in high school, but that’s a whole different blog post!

Anyway, we have been FB friends for awhile, but started communicating again about 6 months ago, mainly IMing and texting. We haven’t even talked on the phone. We’re both pretty busy–me with my 12 hours away from home per day and my son, and him with non-traditional work hours and being a very dedicated father of 3. But, we have found a little time to flirt by text. We have discussed getting together numerous times over the months, but it has never happened. Now, he will only be an hour away, as opposed to 3, so I am going to go see him.

This will be the first time in about 20 years we’ve seen each other in person. I had a huge crush on him in high school–which my big mouth told him about recently! He said he never knew. I did come right out and ask him if he thought we had chemistry in high school and he agreed that we did. I asked him if he thinks we’ll still have chemistry. He thinks we will.

I don’t come across many guys I have chemistry with. It will be interesting to see if after 20 some years if he still trips my trigger. Things are a lot different now, considering one of the main reasons I think he’s pretty hot now is because he’s such a great dad, and in high school I might have thought he was hot because he had a cool car! Just kidding about the car–I have never been that shallow.

I will let you know how it goes!

Posted in Relationships, Uncategorized and tagged chemistry, dating, flirting, high school | Leave a comment