Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

22 Oct 2013

Time Travel

where were you when I was 20
and reckless
my heart and soul
and legs
spread open wide
for all to see the depth of me

where were you when I was 30
and apprehensive
my mind and heart
and legs
closed to him
because he didn’t understand the depth of me

where were you when I was 40
and fearful
my soul and heart
and arms
padlocked to all
because I had been wounded to my very core

you are here when I am 44
and exhausted
my mind and heart
and soul
only wanting to
find that one man with the untarnished key

Posted in Bad Poetry and tagged aging, depth of soul, time travel

14 Oct 2013

12 Comments

Tweet and Sour

Granny panties and an unshaved cooter and legs—the ultimate female cock block.

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged abstaining from sex, cock blocking, no you can't have the cookie, the female cock block, when you just want to say no, Yes you can cock block yourself

11 Oct 2013

12 Comments

Tweet Tooth

Word to the wise: If you don’t want to fall in love with me, you best not eat my cooking.

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged cooking up a mess of something, home cooking, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, tweet

10 Oct 2013

9 Comments

Jeepers, creepers, where’d you get . . . .that beard?? WTF?

If you’re in need of a good belly laugh today– and seriously, who couldn’t use one of those at least a couple of times a day?—get your ass over and check out the Glamour Beards!! Do I find this so humorous because I paid for some of those Glamour Shot things in the early 90’s??

http://www.bromygod.com/2013/09/19/glamour-beards-latest-internet-trend/

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged beards, glamour shots, is it Movember yet??

09 Oct 2013

13 Comments

My Tweet…

Lessons learned: Great Clips should change their name to Mediocre Clips, or Marginal Clips, because you get what you pay for.

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged bad haircuts, really bad haircuts

08 Oct 2013

32 Comments

Grab Your Beakers

Chemistry. So amazing, yet so perplexing. I have been obsessing about it recently. The topic came up Saturday night, when I was chatting with a friend. Here’s what I want to know from you, dear WP friends:

1. Is chemistry something that you either have or you don’t? Meaning, can it be “manufactured” during the course of a relationship, or does it have to be there from the beginning?

2. If you believe it can be “manufactured”, does it quickly wane because it wasn’t there right away?

3. Do you think a relationship is doomed if you have no chemistry with someone?

4. What are your experiences with relationships in where there’s been chemistry/no chemistry?

I have a ton of other questions, but am so looking forward to reading replies, and generating some talk about this topic! Hope you are willing to participate!

Posted in Relationships and tagged chemistry, dating, passion, relationships

07 Oct 2013

3 Comments

Tweet Dreams Are Made of This

I twerked to Achy Breaky Heart this morning, in my car, on the way to work. You think Billy Ray will mind?

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged Billy Ray Cyrus, righteous mullets, tweets, twerking

07 Oct 2013

Crazy In Love

You might possibly have saved me from myself

tripping
stumbling
falling

into something that wasn’t good for me

Are you really that wise?
Wise enough to hold a hand out
to stop the descent

Into the madness that is me
in love

Posted in Bad Poetry and tagged descent into madness, love, save me from myself, wisdom | Leave a comment

01 Oct 2013

2 Comments

Tweet Nothings

SHUT THE FUCK UP. . . .or down, if you’re the government.

Posted in Uncategorized

01 Oct 2013

A Steady Diet of Truth

honesty
tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth
don’t leave any parts out
life is messy
as long as I don’t have to clean up for you
open it up
let it spill
spew forth from your reality
tell all, like one of those trash mags at the checkout stand of the local grocery store
I can handle the truth
even if you can’t
I can envelop your unfettered banter
and inhale it into my soul
like an unfiltered Lucky Strike
though it may be poison
your truth tastes so good