First Day of School
Today is the first time in eight years that I haven’t been with my son on his first day of school. I had planned to be there, just to drop him off, but when I talked to him on the phone the other night, he let me know that he would just walk to school like all the other kids. I know he isn’t a baby anymore, though he will always be my baby, and this is just a part of allowing him to grow up and become an independent adult. I just wish it didn’t hurt so damn much because the reality is setting in that he doesn’t live with me anymore.
This was the first year I wasn’t home too! I was a little unsettled on my drive to work, but realized finally that its okay….they probably won’t recall that minor detail anyway. But it’s so hard to break my own traditions…
It’s quite bittersweet for me.
Oh, I wish they wouldn’t grow up at all some days.
Maybe that’s why you love to pen fairytales–one can always remain young in them, and young at heart. 🙂
That’s right! You are so smart, look at you! I hope you remain young at heart, too. It’s full of wonder and enchantment to be young at heart.
I hate reality.
Yeah, today I do too. Don’t see anyone wanting to make a show about this shit though, huh? Probably because it’s too depressing.
The sadder and harder it is, the less people know what to say. It is a big deal though. Huge really. It’s not like he’s off to college when it’s expected he’d go to his first day alone.
I know. I expected it in another 6 years, I didn’t expect it now. I could’ve prepared myself in 6 years, but for this I only had a couple of months. His dad sent me a pic of him getting ready to go in though, and he was smiling, and looks happy, so when he calls tonight, I will keep my happy voice on and stay positive, and not cry until I hang up the phone.
I never in a million years expected I would miss my baby’s first day of kindergarten, yet next Monday, I’ll be freaked out and worried and terribly sad that I can’t hug her and tell her it will be alright and then hug her again and hear her tell me it was alright when the day is over.
Oh honey, I will be here if you need me. I can’t imagine what that’s going to be like for you. I’m so sorry.
Thank you. It’s probably going to be much like how you are feeling now. Be it the first time or the first time in six years, it sucks elephant penis.
Totally agreed!!
I take my oldest to college Saturday. He will be a freshman this year. I won’t have a first day of school with him
I knew the day would come when he wouldn’t need me for the first day of school, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.
Sometimes being a mum seems to be all about goodbyes and endings. However for our children it is the complete opposite, new beginnings. I have kids of all ages and it is not getting any easier, except they know me better and can laugh at my tears.
Thinking of you today, having to face reality. This too will pass is my usual mantra!
Thanks Tric. I know what seems like an ending is also a beginning, and I have to keep telling myself that! 🙂
Can you start a new tradition? You’re not driving him to school, but what if you plan an after-school date so you can ask how his day went? New beginnings, right? It doesn’t have to be the same as it was before; it can be different but just as fun and fulfilling. I bet you can come up with some good ideas. I’m thinking of you, girlie. 😉
That is a good idea. Wish I would’ve thought of something like that sooner. I do have him this weekend though, so am planning on picking him up after school tomorrow. I guess everything now is about a new kind of different. 🙂
Oh, mama. Time is bittersweet. You must be so proud of your boy for his confidence and independence, while also missing the sweet little guy who needed mommy for everything. Thank you for the reminder to cherish the time when they’re still young.
You’re quite welcome. Innocence and awe is fleeting, and I miss those days, but now I get curiosity, thirst for knowledge, and a testing of independence.
Walking to school is a necessary step. Besides how will he ever get the material to tell his kids and grandkids that he walked 7 miles up hill both ways in a snow storm.
Yes, especially when he only has to walk 2 blocks! lol
Awww… being a mom has so many unforeseen poignant moments…
I can relate – both my daughters lived apart from me for many of their teenage years and it was really hard letting go of the traditions and rituals we’d established. I love the idea someone shared of creating a new ritual for this new stage! Something he’ll likely remember more than simply walking him to school – like a special outing he loves? Thanks for sharing this and reminding us all to appreciate all the moments, whether “special” or not!
It’s only been a couple of days since school started, but he actually seems to be enjoying it, so we’re off to a good start! 🙂