I spent the end of last week, and the entire weekend thinking I was having issues in my relationship. At least that was my perception. I’m not entirely sure what KOAPH’s perception was, but when I finally got a chance to actually talk to him face to face last night, he acted like there was nothing wrong, and there never had been.
In fact, he wanted to know why I hadn’t texted or called him the whole weekend. Are you serious?? I told him I had texted him on Thursday, and hadn’t received even one reply from him, so I thought maybe it was best if I didn’t have any contact with him, until he decided to contact me, considering the two “space” talks we had had in the last month or so.
I knew he was having a hard time. He had been missing his son terribly, and his ex wasn’t exactly forthcoming with visitation. He even traveled the whole distance to see him a couple of weeks ago, and even though it was supposed to be his weekend with his son, she planned a trip and took him out of town. I called her a selfish bitch, but would have much preferred to use the term cunt. Mind you, I don’t know her at all, but I don’t have much patience for women who aren’t willing to co-parent with their children’s fathers. They bitch to everyone if they have a kid with a deadbeat dad who doesn’t want to see their child, but they’re not satisfied when their child’s father wants to participate either. What the fuck?? Bitches like this give the rest of us who are working to establish a positive co-parenting environment, a bad name.
Anyway, he decided he couldn’t take it anymore, and drove again to see his son. He even took an extra day off work, because he was very emotional and just needed to see his boy. The only reason I knew where he was, is because I saw a comment on FB. I was overjoyed he was with his son, because I knew that’s right where he needed to be, and where his son needed him too. When it was time to drop his boy back off with his mother, things didn’t go so well, because his son wanted to come home with him. There were tears, from father and son. By Monday evening though, he was feeling a bit better, because he had had a really positive weekend with his son.
I asked him why he didn’t tell me what was going on. He told me it was because that wasn’t how he was raised, and he feels like he should handle it on his own, that I shouldn’t have to deal with it. I told him that’s the beauty of being in a relationship–burdens can be shared. I don’t have to fix his issues, and he doesn’t have to fix my issues, but by sharing them with each other it lightens the other’s load. I just hope that next time he’s feeling down, and his load feels really heavy, he will open up a little more; at least leave the door cracked, instead of shutting it completely.