Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the tag “exhaustion”

Rock Bottom

I don’t know that I am there, but I sure as fuck can see it from here.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really not stuck in some sort of deep depression, or anything.  I have been in a fairly positive mood lately.  But at times, when I least expect it, the tears hit me, like they did on my drive home today.  I am just tapped out.  I am fucking exhausted.  I feel like I can’t write.  Like it’s such a struggle to write.  I am now to a point where I don’t even seem to have the energy to read blogs.  I keep trying, but I feel like I can’t keep up, and when I can’t keep up and do it perfectly, like read every one I subscribe to, then the guilt sets in.  I have perfectionistic tendencies, and they totally fuck my world up.  I am especially tapped tonight because I just finished a post for Deliberate Donkey.  I needed to write it, it was cathartic, but it was fucking exhausting too.  It will post on Thursday.  I hope you read it.  I apologize, if I can’t get around to reading everything.  I try to be supportive, but I have to be honest and tell you I just can’t do it right now.  Hopefully soon I can find some of the ADD crazy energy that seems to appear every now and then.

Take This Job And. . .

I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. But I never want to grow up so much that I lose my fascination with the world. Some days I feel way too serious and responsible. Today was one of those days. My job has been kicking my butt this week. My job has been kicking my butt for a long time. My job gives nothing back to me. Don’t get me wrong–my job pays pretty well, and I have benefits. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s more than just job satisfaction I’m looking for. I’m looking for a soul re-charge. My job gives me absolutely nothing for my soul. I’m certain this is why I feel so depleted. I am constantly exhausted because my soul is not full. My job only takes from my soul and never adds to it. The hardest job in the world is easy to do if it fills your soul.

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