Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Archive for the tag “denial and numbness”

The Spaces In Between Hurt & Healing

I am struggling tonight.  I don’t miss him, necessarily, but I miss a presence.  It is quiet except for the hum of the window air conditioners, and the tink, tink, tinking of the pull chain on the ceiling fan as it hits against the glass globe. 

My heart hurts and I am lonely.  I know it will pass, but I feel like I have a lump in my throat that won’t budge, and I can’t stop myself from crying as I write this. 

I made the mistake of reading through all our text messages.  He seemed to really like me at first.  Everything seemed great.  It didn’t last.  He started accusing me of wanting to spend too much time together, of being too mistrusting.  He started picking, and I started believing what he said.  I went from being a confident woman to a meek girl who fell in line with his wishes. 

I will be that confident woman again someday, but it will take time.  It will take at least as much time to build myself back up, as it took for him to knock me down.  Right now I have bursts of emotion, but quickly go back to feeling dead inside.  It amazes me how I can still see the bruises on my face, but I can so easily separate myself from the reality of what has occurred.  I guess it is a process which has to be worked through, and I must be in the first phase of it.  I wonder how long the denial will last?

Advertisements

Post Navigation

Sparklebumps: The Mother Version

Still histrionic, still a bookwhore; just faking competence because of my kid.

GREAT AWAKENINGS

i've choked on my words for far too long

Zovision

It's not the length of life, but the depth.

My Blog

A great WordPress.com site

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

My Unwanted Existence

A blog of my struggles with mental illness, social isolation and being transgender n a hostile world.

Fighting the Myth

Shining the light of truth on delusion

The Haunted Librarian

Researching, investigating, and writing about the paranormal.

bloggerelstl

You either get it... or you don't.

theonerealheir.wordpress.com/

Inky blackness, a yawning void ~

Caffeinated Cyclist

oh what's the point.

Eye Will Not Cry

"Eye Fly High"

The Roar Sessions

A weekly series edited by Jena Schwartz

Ella Dawson

My business is generally pleasurable.

Beth Teliho

Read. Ingest the words. Like little blue pills, they will affect you.

kirilson photography

the stories behind the pictures, and vice versa

SAINTSWEST

Just my thoughts for all to behold

Book Snob

FOR DISCERNING READERS

An Obvious Oblivion Blog

🍃 Fully Living The Unfinished Things Of Life Through Writings. 🍃

Sweet Spell

A baking and dessert blog.

Daniel Aegan

Writer, Dark Humorist, Novelist

Annabel Vita

a little bit of this and a little bit of that

Even at Your Darkest

Seeking Beauty Beyond the Scars

insert witticism

The home of Emma O'Brien

shatteredtalon's Blog

The musings of a scorpion who would have been an eagle