Shit just got real. I just got the papers for switching residential custody of my son to his dad. I knew they were coming, and I thought I was prepared to deal with it, but guess what? I’m not. I was fooling myself. I was trying to play make-believe, and dress-up, and pretend I was a big girl that could handle this shit. It feels like I am giving him up. I know that’s not what’s happening, but it reminds me of a day 28 years ago, when I gave up my other child. Why do I have to give up another one?? It’s not fair, and I know life isn’t fair, but god dammit!! I don’t want to do it. I want to change my mind. I want him to come home, and be here with me until he’s 18. I don’t want to let him go.