Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

It’s A Wrap!

Last year I did a New Year’s Eve post in which I made a list of all the things I wanted in 2013: more sex, vacation, more readers, a built-in asshole indicator, just to name a few. As the year draws to a close, in preparation of writing another New Year’s Eve post, and starting a Fat Bottom Girl tradition, I read over it.

I am happy to report that I have gotten 3 out of 8 things I wanted in 2013:

1. Vacation– a couple of days in San Antonio.   I learned a lot of lessons on that trip, one being that if you’re dating an asshole, don’t expect him to keep his dick in his pants while you’re out of town on vacation.  Also, I figured out I don’t really like to travel alone, because it’s got to be a lot more fun when you have someone there to point and laugh at people with.  I am definitely taking more vacation in 2014!

2. More laughter.  I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten more of this, and a lot of it’s due to some of you bloggers.  You guys can be some funny motherfuckers!  Yeah, you know who you are.  Seriously, sometimes I have to actually cover my mouth while I’m pissing away time at work reading blogs, so my co-workers won’t hear me chortling and guffawing over some of the hilarious shit you write!  (God, chortling and guffawing, aren’t those fucking cool words??)

3. I have more readers. As of this posting, I am now up to 198!  I have absolutely no idea how this happened, because I still feel like some third-rate word hack when I compare myself to a lot of you, but I want to thank you for reading! (Which reminds me, I apologize if the checks I promised to send for your follow haven’t reached you yet. I swear I sent them! That damn post office needs to get their shit together!)

So as 2013 draws to a close, I didn’t get all the sex I wanted, there’s still never enough time to do everything I need to do, I’m still not satisfied with everything, and I am still trying to perfect the built-in asshole indicator, but my year is ending on a high note! First of all, because my son is coming back to live with me again! Things didn’t quite work out like everyone thought they would, and after more soul-searching, all involved decided it was best for him to be back with me. This makes me a very happy Mom!! All of it probably a hard, but necessary, learning experience for my son, and for me too.

Secondly, I have met someone. He makes me laugh, he’s a great communicator, he’s talented, intelligent, considerate, and he seems to get me and my sometimes nerdy ways. Plus, bonus! He’s a smokin’ hottie. I have no idea where it’s going, and right now I’m trying really hard not to care, and to just enjoy the ride. Everything with him is different than it’s ever been with any other guy, and in my book, that’s a good thing. That’s a damn good thing.

Raise your glasses Fat Bottom Girl followers!! Here’s hoping you get what you need in 2014, because in the immortal words of the Rolling Stones, you can’t always get what you want.


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17 thoughts on “It’s A Wrap!

  1. Adventures in Kevin's World on said:

    (raises a glass in mock seriousness) Here’s to you laughing a lot about having a functioning asshole indicator while on having incredible amounts of fantastic sex during a great vacation. Just don’t laugh TOO much during the sex. Us guys tend to have issues with that.

  2. Honestly, you can’t hope for better than that! Congrats! I have three hopes for 2014. If I get even ONE of them I’ll be satisfied.

    • I feel quite lucky that I survived the first 6 months of this year, so the amazing things which have come to me in the last couple of months have been like a true blessing!

      Happy New Year, and I hope, at the very least, you get that ONE thing!

  3. reinventionofmama on said:

    Best of luck on a wonderful new year! A-hole indicator – haaaa!

  4. Good to hear about your son returning and the new man, Keep that sex thing in your 2014 Resolutions or do you have that flagged in perpetuity?

  5. Happy New Year! I hope some day I can have 198 followers, too! Yay for FBG! I hope 2014 kicks 2013’s ass — and I’m pretty sure it will. Keep it up, girl — I love your style! And congrats on getting the son back to live with you. I hope it’s been beneficial for you all, the ‘living with dad’ experience — maybe not the most pleasant, but another life experience that helps clarify things. Good on you. And last, but not least, enjoy your new companion. Life is short — throw your head back, laugh, and let yourself have fun without overthinking it. Let the games begin! 😉 B

  6. I’m so glad to know your son is coming back to you, and sounds like you’ve found a great guy! I’m glad I found you again, and now following, so I don’t miss another post…

  7. It’s okay. I know for sure I AM a 3rd rate word hack. However, of all the languages I have studied, English is by far the most colorful. Because of words like chortle, bellibones, cantankerous, and some other words that escape me just now.

    You should understand that you also make me chortle from time to time. As well, the title of your blog gets something other than my dander up…

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