Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Modern Conveniences

I did something stupid last night. After attending a party, and getting slightly inebriated, I texted The Fuck Stick. Yes, I used to refer to him as The Cowboy, but there’s really nothing cowboy-like about him except he wears boots and can rope some shit, so he will now be referred to as The Fuck Stick. Back to my stupidity. It was late, I was drunk and feeling sorry for myself, and lonely, and this is what it said: “Can you just admit to me that I was a convenience and you never cared about me? Because that’s how I feel.” He didn’t respond. He still hasn’t responded, and most likely he won’t. That’s okay. I think his not responding is telling. I don’t think he cares about me at all. I know that may seem strange that I wonder if he cares about me, but I do. Does he have the capacity to care about me? I don’t know. I just really don’t know anything right now, except that I am lonely. I know I will get past all this, but right now it’s still sucking. I have decided I am just going to be proud of the fact I didn’t tell him I miss him, or some sort of stupid shit like that.

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22 thoughts on “Modern Conveniences

  1. I hope this makes you feel better.
    I too miss someone. Badly. So bad that I thought when I got off the plane from NM, he would be waiting. How stupid and anal is that?
    I do believe he loves you and I do believe he cares. Sometimes it just takes time away to appreciate what they had.
    As for you deary doll, YOU need to move on. No man hits a woman. That is a coward and you would be miserable. There are good men in this world. I too would have been miserable. Mine didn’t know how to keep his dick to himself. Thankfully, I got that shit fixed. Yeah. Again…stupid.
    And I still love him.
    BUT….dancin angler man is whipping in like a warm wind and whisking me off my feet. I’m feelin all kinds of tumble weeds in my stomach.
    I’m sure once you get out with some friends, and get away from his shit-and that’s what it is!!!- you will look back and realize you were better than that!!
    Don’t read into a no return text. In fact, don’t read into nothing.
    MOVE ON!!
    There were some beautiful anglers girl!! Gorgeous.

    • Even better….erase him from your phone. Do not give yourself another chance. Block his ass too. Woman power. Take control.

      • Yes, I know I should, unfortunately he still has a couple more things left in my garage. It will all be done soon hopefully.

      • Throw that SHIT OUTSIDE OF THE GARAGE SWEETHEART. HE WANTS IT? He can come it. Do NOT let that man back into your home or your garage!!!! Ya ‘hear me?
        You need just need to have someone behind you holding your backbone. I’ll do it!!!

      • I am glad all the stuff is out of the house. The only thing left is his tool box, and the only reason it’s not gone is because he needs another guy to help him lift it. If I sat it outside, it would be stolen, and I can’t take his means of support away from him, even if he can’t keep a job. I know I don’t have to be nice to him, but I am considering the karmic consequences if I would do something like that. When he comes to get it, all I have to do is stay inside until he’s gone.

    • Maybe I need a vacation!! lol Yes, better to be done and move on, and be open to new possibilities instead of being stuck. And how much fun is meeting someone new and having all those tumbleweeds?? 😉

  2. Women need validation — we all do dumb things just to see if we were loved. Forget this jerk — he’ll soon be only a shadow of a memory. When you feel lonely, pull out one of those pictures you took and remind youself again and again how much better you deserve! Somebody is out there who will love you and appreciate you in the most wonderful kind of way.

    Forget the text happened. Don’t mull over it. It’s done. Now it’s time to look forward.

    • I have promised myself I won’t beat myself up over one stupid text. I wish I could be better at self-validation. I will remind myself how much better I deserve every time I look at my son. 🙂

  3. Let it go. The text. Whoops. Minor hiccup. Back on track. Focused on the future. Growing is so damn hard. Big hugs, lady. Big. Huge.

  4. We’ve all been there, Sexypants. Drunk calling, drunk texting, whatever. We’ve all been there. It’s okay. Your fuckstick sounds so much like mine…mine must have a long-lost brother in Kansas. You deserve so much more and so much better, and you’ll get it. You will.

  5. If this helps at all I texted my “Fuck Stick” for three days of last week. He did respond, but each time it wasn’t the way I wanted him to or the way he used to respond. So, I still left the conversation feeling let down, wondering I keep doing this to myself, and pissed off that I continued to text him! I think Clara is right about the validation. I just want to know that I mean something to him. I shouldn’t care what the hell I mean to him, but I still do! Haven’t texted him today so I’m counting that as progress 🙂 Stay strong and I’m glad you aren’t beating yourself up!

    • You stay strong too!! Stay away from the phone!! lol I try to remember this—if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’re getting. He isn’t going to give you what you need, so why subject yourself to it? We have to get away and stay away from these toxic men!!

  6. Clearly I’m behind. But here’s what I do know: any dumbass who doesn’t respond to you doesn’t deserve you. Even if what you said/texted was dumb, or drunk, or both. Believe that…I agree with you on the karmic bit – no need to create any grief in his life. He’ll create that all on his own. All you have to do is keep it moving. For yourself, and your son. The right guy will come along. I promise. You’re awesome. Big virtual squeeze to you.

    • Thanks!! I am working my way through this day by day. I have it on good authority that I am doing much better than him. 🙂

      • Glad to hear it : ). Not that he’s doing poorly, but that you’re doing better. Oh fuck it, I’m kind of glad he’s not doing so hot. Solidarity, eh? You rock.

      • I don’t really wish him ill will, but that’s only because I have a forgiving nature…oh, and I believe in karma…it’s a bitch!! LOL. My forgiving nature is what got me deeper into this mess, because I forgave him after the first time.

      • Believe it. You’re doing the right thing : )

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