Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Shit Paper Rations

I just read where the Sedgwick County, KS, Sheriff has decided to ration shit paper to inmates at the jail.  They are decreasing their supply from two rolls per week to one.  The sheriff says not only will it cut their shit paper bill by half, but it will deter the inmates from using it to intentionally clog toilets, or as seals for vents when smoking contraband.  The inmates are in an uproar and are claiming their rights are being violated.  Oh, boo-fucking-hoo.  How about this?  Get your ass out of jail, get a fucking job, and buy yourself as much shit paper as you want! (And before some liberal bleeding heart gets on the bandwagon about civil rights bullshit, they said they will make allowances for indigents and inmates who are ill.)

Oh, one more thing!  This shit paper ain’t no cheap ass John Wayne kind of institutional stuff, it’s fucking Charmin!!  Mr. Whipple would be so proud!


Please don't squeeze the Charmin, and don't shove it down the shitter either!!

Please don’t squeeze the Charmin, and don’t shove it down the shitter either!!


*For shits and giggles, read the tags.

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11 thoughts on “Shit Paper Rations

  1. For many it is a 10% increase oiver what they had on the outside. lol

  2. I think they should just make them use the toilet paper at my old job. Using it was like punishment, trust me.

  3. J.D. Gallagher on said:

    Charmin? Really?

    Isn’t it funny how a lot of law abiding people would avoid buying Charmin in a recession because it is expensive and you are literally flushing it down the toilet..and yet the criminals are using Charmin?

  4. Adventures in Kevin's World on said:

    Two rolls per week? That’s a lot of TP!
    Nice tags BTW

  5. corn cobs work! lol! Charmin!? They’re doing better than me! 😉

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