Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Ducks and Pigeons

The following is an analogy given to me by my boss the other day, while sitting around the lunch table complaining about my dating dossier and wondering aloud why all the men I have been involved with in the last twelve years, including my ex-husband, have felt the need to cheat on me.
“Say you’re hunting ducks.  You’ve got your duck call and you’re blowing it, but the ducks aren’t coming.  All you keep getting are pigeons. Maybe you just think you want a duck.  Maybe, you need to learn to like pigeons.”


Here, pigeon, pigeon. . .

Here, pigeon, pigeon. . .


P.S.  What’s quite ironic about this whole analogy?  I dressed up as Carol Burnett’s “Pigeon Lady” character one year for Halloween when I was just in elementary school.

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17 thoughts on “Ducks and Pigeons

  1. Loving the analogy, from pigeon settler to another. That’s gonna roll around in my head a little today I think… 🙂

    • People are always telling you how you shouldn’t ever settle. . blah.. blah. . blah. . .but when this message keeps repeating itself over and over again, shit, I really am starting to wonder. I don’t think I ask guys to cheat on me, but are these just the types of guys I attract? Do I need to resign myself to the fact that I will never have a relationship that was created in heaven, for me, a heathen?? The fact is, I don’t know if I would be happy if I did have that kind of relationship.

      • As a fellow heathen I must say that I believe both of us deserve a slice of guy heaven!! I admit I suck at choosing men to date, but I still have to believe that one day a good guy is gonna pick me! And today I am choosing to believe the same for you!!! Frankly, I don’t care if he’s a duck, pigeon, peacock, or grouse as long as he treats me right 🙂

  2. J.D. Gallagher on said:

    Well I was going to comment on this but I know nothing worth repeating about relationships, then you had me thinking of pigeons which I have no opinion on except for this one time when a pigeon decided to take a dump on my ear/ face and I asked a friend if he had tissue or something and he said: What’s the point it will have flown off by now.

  3. But what pigeon wants you old hens?! Bwahahahahahaha!!!

  4. Mike Tyson loves pigeons. Just sayin….

  5. At this point, I wonder if I even know what I want. I sure thought I did, but maybe I really don’t.

  6. I think you do know. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Especially if it’s Mike Tyson. Knowing what you want — and believing you deserve it — are often two different things. They shouldn’t be. And you won’t find it using Siri on your F-Stick Flip Phone 😉

  7. Hi there!
    So i’ve gone through your whole blog and it was a fun read! I to, am a single mother. I divorced my husband 9 years ago, 2 months after giving birth to his son. (go check out my blog for the details).
    I haven’t dated or been in a relationship since kinda because of the issues you have been going through. Trust in men is pretty much null and void for me as you can’t quite get what they are all about. But I’m sure women are that way to.
    Anyway, I love this pigeon analogy. It made me laugh. I’ll be around!

    • Thanks so much for reading!! It’s always nice to find kindred spirits in the blogging world. You might possibly never date after reading about all my pigeons!! I will go check yours out soon. 🙂

      • I actually have read through all your entries and it made my head spin. I think sometimes men are just afraid of a woman who really knows what they want and wants it now!
        I try to be patient though. I tend to want things to happen instantly, and that just can’t be so.

  8. Yes, I tend to have a patience problem too! I am still working on my “woah”! I have been doing better lately, trying to not become so focused on everyone else that I lose sight of me. I also believe that men who are unsure of themselves, often feel threatened by a strong woman who is comfortable being independent.

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