Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.


And the Universe spoke and said, “You’re not allowed happiness, don’t you know that?”

“I thought everyone deserved their fair share!” I shouted back at the Universe.

“The fair is some place you can ride the Tilt-A-Whirl and buy a funnel cake and look at cows. It’s not a thing.” said the the Universe.

“But other people get happiness, why can’t I have it?” I asked.

Exasperated, the Universe said, “Because you’re not allowed! Haven’t you figured this out yet? How many times do I have to repeat it? Forty-three years I’ve been telling you the same fucking thing, and you won’t listen! Why do you have to be so hard-headed?”

“I guess because I want it so badly, and because I’m so hard-headed,” I said, “And you, you’re a cruel asshole, showing me glimpses of happiness, and then taking it away! If I can’t have it, then why do you tempt me with it?”

“Because everyone should know what they’re missing,” he said with a cruel asshole grin.


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10 thoughts on “Allowances

  1. Everyone deserves to be happy. ((Hugs))

  2. 😦 What happened? And yes, you’ll get it. As I’m getting older I am beginning to see that I may need to adjust my definition of what happy is though. Which sucks because I hate being even a little wrong, and it fucking feels like caving which I hate even more. But..it’s seemingly unavoidable if I’m gonna make anything out of the last half. Heart you, girl, hang in there.

  3. I think my knight on the paint horse has ridden away, and I don’t know whether he’s coming back or not.

  4. Maybe we just think others have it (hapiness). It is a definition thing

    • Yes, I think it probably is a definition and varies from person to person. The problem is, I often think I need to be in love in order to be happy, which actually helps, along with a bunch of sex! Hahaha

  5. You know what I’m learning lately? Over the past couple of months I’ve been working on this thing. It’s called, “I deserve to be happy”. I never realized how negative I was, and i didn’t realize either that i was deeming myself unworthy of happiness. I also am starting to realize that happy originates from within and projects outward. It’s not something that just comes on it’s own – you welcome it into your body and mind, and it will leave whenever you decide to kick it out. Of course, some days are better than others…

    I’m working on maintaining positivity the best I can, unconditionally loving myself, and reminding myself that I am worthy. Try it and believe in it. It’s a fight at first and hard to believe, but the longer you do it, the more it becomes second nature.

    • Feeling worthy is something I have struggled with throughout most of my entire life. I know guys go through it too, but oftentimes I feel the world is harder on females than on men. We have so many expectations put upon us: am I pretty enough, am I thin enough, am I too smart, am I talented enough, and all of these things get thrown at us from the time we are little. I have never been pencil thin, I believe I am a very attractive woman, with curves & good tits, I have a great mind & an amazing sense of humor, I am an excellent mother, I am a hard worker & fairly successful even though I have too much debt, I can cook like nobody’s business & run a household, I give a mean BJ & I am awesome in the sack, and yet…I always seem to end up alone…all of these things are never good enough. When it comes down to it, I am like anyone else, & eI just want to be loved. Pathetic, huh?

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