And the Universe spoke and said, “You’re not allowed happiness, don’t you know that?”
“I thought everyone deserved their fair share!” I shouted back at the Universe.
“The fair is some place you can ride the Tilt-A-Whirl and buy a funnel cake and look at cows. It’s not a thing.” said the the Universe.
“But other people get happiness, why can’t I have it?” I asked.
Exasperated, the Universe said, “Because you’re not allowed! Haven’t you figured this out yet? How many times do I have to repeat it? Forty-three years I’ve been telling you the same fucking thing, and you won’t listen! Why do you have to be so hard-headed?”
“I guess because I want it so badly, and because I’m so hard-headed,” I said, “And you, you’re a cruel asshole, showing me glimpses of happiness, and then taking it away! If I can’t have it, then why do you tempt me with it?”
“Because everyone should know what they’re missing,” he said with a cruel asshole grin.