Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Every Storm. . .

I want to be humorous, but I just can’t. This shit has got me down. The holiday, my job, the state of my fixer-upper house. I don’t have the fucking energy to be funny. Of course I don’t think anyone has that expectation of me; to be funny all the time. I’ve never intentionally tried to be funny every day, because that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is about me, being me. Some days I am funny, at a minimum I am sarcastic and bitchy, and other days I am just downright rude and socially unacceptable. Tonight, I am tired and bitchy, my job offers me no challenges, I ain’t been laid in so many godddamn fortnights (I just found out what that word actually means last week, so I’m using it in a fucking sentence) I can’t even count, and it’s fucking Christmas in a little over a week.

Could things be worse? Definitely. Should I be more grateful? Probably. But if there’s one thing I know about me, it’s that I have to ride the waves, whatever type of waves they might be. Eventually, the water will be calm again, and I can have a little peace.

Gary Allan says every storm runs out of rain. . .sing my life. . .


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10 thoughts on “Every Storm. . .

  1. I’m in the exact same place… you worded it perfectly.. here’s hoping a calm water will come your way soon..

  2. Yeah, I know the feeling. If it’s any consolation, I’ve always admired girls with fat bottoms.

  3. Girl, I’m feelin’ ya… I wrote a similar (yet much less optimistic and constructive) post on my blog yesterday. Not sure if it’s an especially challenging holiday season globally or what the hell…

  4. No pressure to be funny. After all, David Letterman feels no need to be funny and he get $15 Million/year

  5. I think this is my favorite thing you’ve written. That’s what the FUCK it’s about. I’ve started to realize that too. The blog thing keeps evolving, but it’s more than just writing, it’s documenting a snippet of yourself from a “moment in time”. Every time I force something anymore, I just scrap it. I’ve learned to “talk” instead.

    …I don’t feel like being funny today either, or always for that matter. I really needed to hear exactly what you said. Thanks.

    P.S. I hope Santa drops you off *a nice piece of ass* for Christmas; make sure you shower on Christmas Eve — just in case. Har. Har. Har.

  6. Adam, thanks so much for the compliment. Like me, I don’t believe you write for applause, or thanks, but when it comes, it can rock me to my very core. Keep on keeping it real, and I shall do the same.

    P.S. As long as it’s not Santa’s ass that gets dropped off! πŸ˜‰

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