Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Hurricane In My Brain

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I have no focus. I can’t keep my mind on anything for a length of time. I tried to get on some painting projects and I can’t even stay focused long enough to put some damn spray paint on something!!  I called The Zen Master this morning.  I hadn’t talked to him since Wednesday, so I took a deep breath and pushed the damn button on the phone.  I get all kinds of nervous and shit when I go to call him.  I don’t understand it.  I can be cool any other time, but when it comes to men I am a total nerd.  Don’t get me wrong, I can work it, I can flirt, do all that stuff, but when it comes to really putting myself out there, I feel like a total loser.  You know what it is?  I think I like him.  I think I might be able to really like him.  I liked the way I felt when I was with him.  I liked the way he made me think.  So now I feel greedy, like I want to feel that great all the time.  That’s not his problem though.  I am not his problem.  At this point he hasn’t really decided how much time he wants to spend with me, so he’s not willing to carve out much extra time for me.  Which, at some point will present a problem if he really is interested in getting to know me.  I will just leave you with a small tidbit of what my ADD brain is like.  Right now, my head is doing this crazy shit to me:

So, he says he’s interested in getting to know you, but is he really interested in getting to know you?  Doesn’t do any good to say it and then have no time to actually do it.  When is he going to be willing to do it?  And why are you always so damn willing to give up your time for a man?  Do you just want it more than he does?  Are you always more interested than the guy?  Do you think about this shit too much?  Why can’t you just let it go and do something else, think about something else?  What is wrong with you that you get obsessed with this kind of shit?  He told you the other day pretty much what he was doing the rest of the week, and this morning he told you what he was doing.  Do you not believe him?  Do you have any reason to doubt him?  Do you think he’s lying to you?  No, I don’t think he’s lying. . . my gut isn’t telling me he’s lying, so fuck you head!!  Is he going out of town to see some other woman??  So maybe he is.  What if he is??  Well, if he is I hope he thinks about me the whole time.  I hope he thinks about how wonderful he thinks I am.  Well, he doesn’t know me that well, so how can he think I’m wonderful?  Is he interested in finding out how wonderful I am?  He’s going to have to spend time with me if he ever wants to know how great I am.

Yep.  Welcome to my fucked up world.  Aren’t you glad you’re not me??

 

 

Advertisements

Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

bloggerelstl

You either get it... or you don't.

Going Commando

one blurt at a time

theonerealheir.wordpress.com/

Inky blackness, a yawning void ~

Caffeinated Cyclist

emptiness personified

Dirty, Naked & Happy

is currently taking a break from blogging x

Playing for Time

"How did it get so late so soon?" ~Dr. Seuss

Eye Will Not Cry

"Eye Fly High"

The Roar Sessions

A weekly series edited by Jena Schwartz

Ella Dawson

My business is generally pleasurable.

Beth Teliho

Read. Ingest the words. Like little blue pills, they will affect you.

kirilson photography

the stories behind the pictures, and vice versa

SAINTSWEST

Just my thoughts for all to behold

Book Snob

FOR DISCERNING READERS

An Obvious Oblivion Blog

🍃 Fully Living The Unfinished Things Of Life Through Writings. 🍃

www.immodiumabuser.com

AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.

Lou Times Two

top knot wearin' mama to twin girls

Sweet Spell

A baking and dessert blog.

Tangled Up In Music

Music Reviews (and other things)

Yeah, Another Blogger

An Arts-Filled And Tasty Jaunt Through Life

Budgie Bigelow's Blog

Finely crafted short fiction & stories

Annabel Vita

a little bit of this and a little bit of that

insert witticism

The home of Emma O'Brien

shatteredtalon's Blog

The musings of a scorpion who would have been an eagle

Buffalo Tom Peabody's blog 2

The 9 Lives of Buffalo Tom Peabody, Gunther Tootie, Ignatius “IGGY” Rattlebottom-Bunn, Larry "Bubba" Flowers & Doodlesack. NO AWARDS. please.

knowingkimberly

I blog now. I know, I can't believe it either.

Part-Time Monster

I eat books for breakfast.

The Reluctant Cat Owner's Journal

Gay humor writer writing about cats, cat care, life, and the adventures of being gay.

%d bloggers like this: