I have spent the better part of the last 12 years of holidays alone. I don’t mean alone without my son, or family, I mean alone without a special man in my life. Maybe you’re thinking I should be more grateful for what I do have. Maybe you’re right; maybe I should. But I am still left wondering if I will spend the rest of my life alone. Should I resign myself to loneliness? Should I give up hoping there is that certain guy out there, who is wishing for me, like I am wishing for him? I can’t seem to stop hoping. I want to give up. I think it would be easier if I could give up, but I can’t. I am a fool.