I am pretty much an open book. I don’t know if this is a positive thing, or a negative thing in the dating world, and just in the world in general. I have no filter most of the time. It’s just who I am, and always have been. I am better now about not putting my two cents in on every subject, but I have a hard time hiding my feelings about things. I am curious, I will question people until they might become exasperated by all the questions, but I have a need to know what makes people tick. But, I am perfectly willing to share information about myself. Well, except for a couple of things. There are a couple of things that I won’t tell a date, or just people in general, about myself. These things are very personal, and I keep them close because when I do choose to share them with a person, they usually get a big reaction. Sometimes this reaction isn’t altogether positive either.
I guess I am bringing this up because it happened last night–the telling, and the bad reaction–leaving me feeling like a huge pile of shit, and quite alone. I don’t know how to be okay with it when the bad reaction happens. It will take me days to get over it, to build up my confidence and self-esteem again. I know these things, which I rarely reveal, are a part of me and always will be. I can never be rid of them. They say you are the sum of all your parts, that everything that happens over the course of your life makes you the person you are today. I am a good person. I am worthy. Maybe, your bad reaction to my very personal information, has taught me all I need to know about you. Maybe you are not worthy of me.