Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Crazy Cocktails and Their Side Effects

A few days ago I cried uncle to the anxiety (with an undercoating of PTSD), which has plagued me for quite some time, and made an appointment to see my doctor.  I had recently talked to a few people about their struggles with anxiety, and the meds they take to help deal with it.  I don’t like medications, because I seem to be ultra-sensitive to some of them, plus most of them can exacerbate the exact thing we’re trying to get rid of, and that just makes no damn sense whatsoever.

My doctor knows I don’t like to take pills, and often has to convince me to try them, so when we sat down to talk on Monday, and I broke down in tears over my inability to deal with this fucking anxiety, he suggested Lexapro, an SSRI-anti-depressant, which is also supposed to have anti-anxiety properties.

I suggested Ativan, which he isn’t particularly fond of, but I had to admit to him that a friend had given me one to try during an anxiety attack, and it helped calm me down within 20-30 minutes.  And seriously, if you have anxiety, you know what blissful relief a reprieve from torturous cyclical thinking can be.

Needless to say, we compromised:  he would give me the Ativan for “as needed” situations, and I would try the Lexapro for a long term solution.

Now mind you, the last time I took an anti-depressant, it was something called Pristiq, which I had to stop taking because of the ridiculous cost of it, and I almost slit my wrists when I was trying to wean myself off of it. I literally locked myself in my bathroom, and called my mom to come over and talk me off the fucking ledge, because of that shit.  That’s when I said, “NO MORE!”.  Didn’t matter what came up, I would plow through depression without a pill, because I was never going to subject myself to worse depression from an anti-depressant.

Fast forward to 5 years later and two doses of Lexapro got me looking like the town meth whore with some damn teeth grinding and jaw clenching and my inability to keep my damn tongue still in my mouth.

What. The. Fuck.  *Google Lexapro and teeth grinding*

Sure enough, the meth mouth shuffle is one of the side effects of Lexapro.  So doc, I tried, but I’m not doing this shit.  I’m not going to keep walking around doing this, grinding my teeth down to stumps and giving myself migraines, in the hopes that the side effects will wear off.  If this is what happens after two doses, I don’t want to see what happens after a third, or a fourth.

At least I still have the Ativan to calm my brain, even if it doesn’t help stop looking like the town meth whore.



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7 thoughts on “Crazy Cocktails and Their Side Effects

  1. Everybody is different. It is kind of like “Trial & Error” to get it right.

  2. What Tom said. Every med works differently for everyone and it’s a total crapshoot to see which will work best for you. I went through like 3 or for (including Effexor and Pristiq which are horrible to get off) and now I’m happy on Cymbalta. Ativan is great but def not good for long term / daily use. My BFF just got this test done called GeneSight and it is genetic testing you can get done to see which medicines will work best with your body – some insurances cover it!

    • Someone else mentioned the testing, but I’m guessing my insurance won’t cover it, and I couldn’t afford to pay for it. I will be seeing an endocrinologist next week, and am eager to know how many of my issues could be linked to hormones too.

  3. buffalotompeabody on said:

    Hi FBG! I think this article is the most straightforward and realistic review of antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications from the point of view of an actual sufferer. I personally know of 4 horror stories do to drug mismatches and lousy Medical Professional supervision of patients on these meds.
    Keep giving them hell FBG! 👍👍

    • Thanks BTP! I work really hard to be my own best advocate when it comes to my healthcare, because even though I feel like I have a good, caring doctor, even he doesn’t always know what’s best for me. 🙂

  4. Snarkypants2016 on said:

    Have you looked into natural remedies, in the form of herbs, essential oils, acupuncture/pressure and yoga and exercise? I have many friends who swear by some of these

  5. I currently have some health issues going on, which might possibly exacerbate the underlying anxiety, so I’m looking into dealing with those.

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