Her Name In Lights
It’s the smell. She can’t stand the fucking smell. Desperation mixed with vanilla cupcakes, stale sweat laced with the vestiges of last night’s drunk, and the nasty snatch of that one bitch who never seems to bathe. It makes her want to lose the two Xanax and the shot of Jack Daniels she washed them down with.
She lifts her head off the table, picks up the kohl pencil, and gazes at the mirror in front of her, not really seeing herself; seeing through herself. She avoids her own eyes. More makeup, is what she always thinks. Cover it all up; the disgust that she feels with herself, and with them. Cover it up until she looks like someone else, so she can keep lying to herself.
This was never how she pictured her life; it wasn’t where she thought she would ever be. She had always wanted to be on a stage, but not one with a fucking pole on it. After a series of poor decisions, and a string of fuck stick men who couldn’t manage to keep their hands to themselves, it’s where she wound up. Quite the irony considering she still has to deal with men who can’t seem to keep their hands to themselves. At least they’re supporting me, she thinks, as opposed to the other way around.
**I wrote this for a writing prompt, Characterizing Scenes, over on Tipsy Lit. Erica told me I’m a writer, so what the hell, I’m trying to write something!
**Stuck, over at Stuck on Zero, just alerted me to today’s WP Daily Prompt, “Smell You Later”, so I thought I would link this shit up!! Thanks girl!!
And you are! I could smell the place as I read it, which oddly enough, you never encounter smell in fiction as much as the other senses so I really appreciate that in this piece! And that last line is pretty killer. The idea of being supported when in reality there’s no soft place for her to land. I like this.
Thank you Ericka!! I value your opinion, as I think you’re a great writer. I guess I am odd, in that I always associate smells with memory. Does anyone else do this?? lol I haven’t had the particular experience of being in the stripper dressing room, just had to use my imagination.
i have smell memory too..and so i normally include it in things i write..but what you wrote? brilliant!
Thank you very much!! And it’s good to know I’m not the only one with this olfactory flashback thing. I can smell something and be right back in the moment. At times it will stop me dead in my tracks.
i am the exact same way..it was the worst thing to overcome when dealing with a few ptsd issues i had because the smell of things is so deep inside of your brain that it takes forever to try and change a reaction to something. i actually bought this cat toy..that was rather cute..and instead of having cat nip in it..i put coffee beans and wore it around my neck for a while to ‘help” me redirect my sense of scent when i DID get triggered.. i thought if it worked for perfumes then why not smells my brain couldn’t get rid of..
That’s actually a good idea! Plus, who can resist the smell of coffee beans?? 🙂
lol..they are used to “cleanse the nasal palate”
An excellent beginning 🙂
This is awesome. I want the rest of it, because your protag very much interests me. Keep going, my friend! You so clearly are a writer and a damn good one. XOXO
Thanks so much Lizzy!! Maybe some day I will add to it. 🙂
So what a coincidence…the WordPress Daily Prompt is about smells.
Keep writing. You’re good at it.
Thank you dear!! You know, I have never looked at the WP Daily Prompt before.
They can be pretty fun! And inspiring, too.
You killed it. Especially that part about hiding behind the makeup. I’ve been there, done that. And the second line set it up perfectly: Desperation mixed with vanilla cupcakes, stale sweat laced with the vestiges of last night’s drunk, and the nasty snatch of that one bitch who never seems to bathe. Nicely done.
Thank you very much for your kind words! It’s all the wonderful comments that will keep me writing for another day!! 🙂
She lifts her head off the table, picks up the kohl pencil,…..
I felt how weary she is.
That’s where you grabbed me. Nice work.
Thank you. I know that’s how I feel some days, like I just don’t want to do it again, that I can’t do it again. But you have to.
For better or for worse you said! I think this is for the better! Clearly you are a good writer with excellent descriptions that immediately drew me in to the scene!
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You know the way you skip through some posts and others grab you… Well you grabbed me. Well done I really enjoyed it. I love the wordpress prompts as I write posts I’d never have thought of and they often take me by surprise when I see what I produce. Some day I might even consider the Dp challenge. You really should think of developing this character. I suspect she has met a few cowboys in her day!:)
Thanks Tric!! I mentioned you in a post the other day…wanted you to know that I sent my samples in to got registered for the bone marrow donation. 🙂
Oh wow. Thank you. It must have been when I was on holidays. I will look it up. That is great news.
My young friends transplant is going really well so far. He has an infection so is very sick but the transplant is already working far better than the norm. They are all so delighted.
The bone marrow they received was a superb match. Thank you so much for doing that. I am so chuffed. It is not everyone will consider it.
Currently there are four brothers here in Kansas, around where I live, that need bone marrow for some sort of very rare condition they have. I originally got the packet months ago, got busy, and it got pushed to the back of the cupboard. Your post reminded me it was in there. Things happen for a reason! I only help that I can be a match for someone, and help. 🙂 I figure it’s about the best present you could ever give anyone. I am also an organ donor, which I feel is very important, and hope that when it’s my time to go, I can help someone in some way.
Thanks BTP! You know you’re one of my most favorite kitties!!
Her disgust and not acceptance is what makes me want to know more about who she was before and where her story started. Awesome!
Thanks! A couple of others have wanted to know what happens after, and want me to continue the story, so you wanting to know where she come really gets me thinking too! I might have to develop this character. I’ve never actually written a short story, and I think this does have possibilities. That’s what is so great about this blogging thing—all the amazing encouragement and support from fellow bloggers. 🙂
This is exactly how I feel every day when I have to go to work! However, my work would be MORE fun if it had a pole. 🙂 awesome writing!
But if you continue the story, she must have a dancer friend named Sparkle. 🙂
I will see what I can do. 😉
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You are a writer!! You are the only one who didn’t get the memo about that! lol This is great…well done!
There was a memo?? lol