Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

My Last Name is Control

controlHe’s said it more than once, “You kind of like to control everything, don’t you?”  It’s true, I do like to be in control.  I was what many would call a “bossy” kid, and I suppose this has led to me being a “bossy” adult.  I am a leader, not a follower, and will attempt to manipulate people to come to my dark side, and do as I wish.  And if I can’t use the art of persuasion to get you to do what I want, or see my side of things, then at times I will try to force you to.

Problem?  He doesn’t want to be controlled (most people don’t).  He has made that very clear, yet he always seems to hand me his problems, seeking my advice and guidance.  Is he aware you shouldn’t hand a fixer such as myself, a problem and not expect me to give you numerous solutions?  I guess he must not be.  He told me last night I sound like his mother.  That’s exactly what every woman wants to hear.  I told him I don’t want to be his mother, but was just trying to make a point.

He says I am a debater, that I can’t just say something and let it go.  It’s true.  Why do I feel the need to justify myself to everyone?  I think it’s because of my need to control.  I want to influence people to understand why I feel the things I do, because I’m not okay with feeling it, saying it, and letting them deal with.

Control is an illusion.  I can’t control another human being, unless they allow me to, and to be honest, I don’t really want to control anyone, let alone a man I am in a relationship with.  I want to be comfortable enough in my own skin, that I can let go and allow life to happen.  I want to release my worries and anxieties, and allow people to make their own choices about things, and live their lives the way they see fit.  Some days letting go of control is easy for me.  Other days, it isn’t so easy and I battle it.  I think I need to keep this quote handy, to remind me neither sunsets, nor people, will be beautiful if I attempt to manipulate them.


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14 thoughts on “My Last Name is Control

  1. My husband has a habit of always saying “Yerrah”. Its like “so what” or “whatever”. At times it drives me crazy because he is very laid back, but and I know he will never see this, I have found sometimes saying “yerrah” to myself does take away the angst. Its like taking a deep breath and saying “relax”. Maybe I’ve been with him too long!!

  2. My husband is a bossy pants “fixer”. *sigh* I often want to punch him in the nose.
    At least you realize that you’re doing it and can admit it.
    We are all perfect in our imperfectness. That means you too.

  3. Does that mean you have to “control” yourself. No way 🙂

  4. I’m totally the opposite. Whenever someone tells me their problems, I just let them vent and listen to them. And sometimes they’re like “okay, now what?” “Oh,” I say. “So you wanted a solution. You came to the wrong person.” I think a little bit of either one is fine but we should try to not be either too controlling or too passive.

  5. Kira on said:

    I LOVE the quote! I can be very controlling and manipulative in my relationships with men. It’s funny I don’t do it in other relationships and only if I’m “seriously” involved with the guy. I think the fact that you realize that you control is half the battle, right?!? If he knows you are that way…then why does he get surprised at it? lol I always tell my man that same thing…

    • I guess he must think I am going to change, and really, I would like to change. It’s exhausting to always be the one figuring things out and fixing shit.

      • Kira on said:

        You’ve got that right!!! It wipes me out! My thing is if you don’t want me to fix it then don’t ask me for my help! lol It makes it a vicious cycle!

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  7. Kira on said:

    I have awarded you with the Sweet Blogger Award! Please check out my post to receive the award http://wrestling-life.com/2013/05/08/award-smorgasbord/ This is a NO pressure nomination. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I just wanted you to know that I am pleased to have you as part of my blogging world!

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