Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

Because I Am Single

I don’t have to answer to you.

I have the right to change my mind.

I don’t have to consult with you when I want to make plans.

I can dance with every guy in the bar.

I can flirt shamelessly.

I can go an extra couple of days without shaving my legs.

I can sleep all over the whole bed.

I can decorate my house however I want.



*I am writing this in an attempt to help myself feel better about my singlehood.

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10 thoughts on “Because I Am Single

  1. Don’t forget arguing with yourself and winning every arguement.

  2. Keep putting off the leg-shaving thing, and you might be single for a long time! In the U.S. anyways haha! (waiting for bitch slap)

  3. radaronelson on said:

    Wait. I’m supposed to be single to dance with every girl in the bar and flirt shamelessly? Oh, yeaaaaa, well, I guess I missed that in the rule book.

  4. Oh, man. You made me ponder, and I have to admit to a little jealousy. But then I remembered SPIDERS! I guess I’ll keep him.

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