Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

You Guys are Craptacular!!

I work in the construction industry, and a large number of my co-workers are men.  In fact, almost all of them are men.  Trust me, most of the time I have no problem with this, as men are much quicker to forgive than women, and don’t tend to be backstabbing, conniving whores who think you’re trying to steal their job/significant other.

The downfall of working mostly with men is the smell. The question at the forefront of my mind most days is, “Don’t you ever shit at home??” I swear these guys save their shit so they can do it at the office. I understand that every once in awhile you’re going to have to take one of those out of the ordinary kind of craps. You know, the ones that sneak up on you after you put the two taco lunch you had at the local Mexican eatery on top of the numerous beers you had the previous night while playing shuffleboard with the guys after work? But every day of the week??

Guys, is your gut built different than women’s? I don’t know about the other ladies out there, because most women don’t sit around and talk about poop like I obviously do, but I am a once a day kind of girl, and my preference is to do it before I get in the shower. Most women don’t even like to shit in public places, and will only do it as a last resort and if they’re seriously going to crap their pants before they make it home. It is clear, after studying male pooping habits, this is not the case with most men, and they do not share these “poop-phobias” with the fairer sex.

The guys at the office will sometimes spray to try to cover up the stench, and even leave the fan running as a kind of courtesy, but we work in a trailer, so it really doesn’t help much. The walls are paper thin in this place; you can hear them reeling the damn toilet paper off. When I hear this sound, I have a learned reaction now–I know I need to light the candle.

Maybe for Christmas this year I need to buy the guys kind of a group gift as a tribute to all the crap-tacular dumps they leave in that nasty ass bathroom of theirs.

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17 thoughts on “You Guys are Craptacular!!

  1. Men are gross. If vaginas didn’t freak me out I would go gay.

    • Personally I would love to see a movement happen where all women went bi. I say bi because that way men are still included. I wouldn’t want to be pushed to the side all together but rather included in their sexual freedom of expression…lol but hey maybe that’s just me and my own fantasies. LOL

  2. Now see, it’s slightly off topic even though it was mentioned, I find I work much better with women then I do men. I have worked with too many men that were just flat out sexist assholes who treat women like whores and when women aren’t around talk about them like they are. I have more personality conflicts with men then I do women which is why I tend to have a higher ratio of female friends then I do male friends. The females I have worked with have always been nice to me, yea maybe even a little flirty but I tend to be flirty too but nothing demeaning. I’ve even had a few work spouses. Of course there is the normal “female” talk that goes on but that has never bothered me. Maybe I’m just weird or because I do like my women, mmmmmm, it’s easier to get a long with them then men I don’t know.

    • Years ago, my ex-husband told me that guys have this thing where they’re always sizing up other guys. Don’t know if it’s a “who has the biggest dick” contest, or “who is the biggest dick” contest! lol

      I have worked with a couple of guys who were quite chauvinistic, but I have the type of personality where I can usually say things that wound their inflated egos and put them in their places. 😉

      • I’ll have to go with “who IS the biggest dick” and I find most men are which is why I get along with so few of them. LOL Not to mention I’m not gonna stroke no man’s ego I save that for the ladies. 🙂

      • Ahhh, you are wise grasshopper!! I am trying to teach my son that he always needs to stay in women’s good graces. Some of the boys in his class are chasing girls, and I told him he just needs to be friends with the girls for now, and wait to chase them! 🙂

      • That’s right, get them to like you first, let them get to know you, smooth talk em, then when they trust you and know that your a good guy, make your move…lol but never piss em off.

      • Yes, because you know what they say about a woman scorned! 😉

      • Oh I know all about it….I have an ex and after 5 years she still hasn’t got over me divorcing her.

      • I was glad my husband divorced me, but not too happy about the reason or the timing! lol I would have stayed with him out of loyalty and been miserable for at least 5 more years probably. I will never be that foolish again. Maybe why I am still single?? lol

  3. Agreed. The only vagina I really like is my own! lol Plus, I have lesbian friends who tell me about the lesbian drama, and the hetero drama seems tame! 🙂

  4. SEE, I KNEW I LIKED YOU! I grew up in the construction business and spent many a summer working for my dad on one of his many construction projects. The best was ‘flag girl’ on the fucking Dan Ryan Expressway and getting whistled at all the time. oh and groped. Hey, not a big deal back then …in the mid-80s.
    You are sooo right about men not shitting at home. I had one of the foremen tell me his wife WON’T LET HIM SHIT AT HOME. I about lost it.

    • I haven’t asked these guys about their shitting protocol at home, but it’s entirely possible their wives might tell them that! hahaha

      • I must say that working on numerous construction sites made my retorts to dumb men that much sharper. I got so good that my dad’s supers were calling me ‘mini-Roseanne.’
        Loved it.

      • Maybe that’s where your honed your humor? I usually don’t give a second thought to what comes out of my mouth here at work, and that’s a great basis for some really funny shit!

      • could be. My mom is a southern belle deb (think Ouiser Boudreaux) and my dad is this dry, witty, smart guy from Northern NJ. Really..I didn’t have a chance at being dull. Not. gonna. happen.

      • What an absolutely fucktacular combo!! Can I come hang out with your parents for Christmas??

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