Fat Bottom Girl Said What

When my ass talks, people listen.

God has a Facebook page?

I just noticed on my Facebook ticker that a friend of mine “liked” God’s photo.  God has a Facebook page?  What the fuck?  Do you really expect me to believe God has internet service??  And a camera he takes pictures with and uploads them to Facebook so he can keep everyone apprised of the happenings in his life/death/ spiritual existence?  What the hell do you post as a status when you’re God?

I am certain that some people will read this post and think I am being blasphemous, but technically aren’t all the folks who are “liking” God’s Facebook page, and plastering bumper stickers all over their cars being more blasphemous?  You might also ask, what do I know about God?  A whole lot of nothing.  I have had my experiences with religion and spirituality, but consider myself to be agnostic at this point in my life.   But what does anyone really know about God?  Not much, but I sure as hell hope God has a sense of humor when it comes to this crazy shit!

I mean, really, how about the douche who started this Facebook page? ( You know it wasn’t really God, right?)  Someone was so full of themselves that they thought they could speak for God??  How pompous can you be?  I so don’t have to worry about being struck down for all the crazy ass stuff I’ve done in my life, if I’m standing next to this guy! Here’s how it would go down:

God: Oh, I know you Fat Bottom Girl! You’ve drank tons of liquor, and fornicated with a bunch of dudes out of wedlock, and you’ve cursed, and you’ve taken my name in vain, and you think I shouldn’t strike you down?

Fat Bottom Girl: (points to the guy standing next to her) Ummm, yeah, but this douche claimed he was you and made a Facebook page!

Bam! Douche is struck down, and I’m all good and move on to heaven! What? You think that’s a stretch??  Well, so is God having a fucking Facebook page!!

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6 thoughts on “God has a Facebook page?

  1. Maybe God is Mark Zuckerberg or so he thinks

  2. Douche smited by the hand of God. I’ll be laughing all day at this.

    • Glad to hear it!! I am thinking instead of the WWJD (What would Jesus do?) bumper sticker, which in my head always reads like, “What would (insert Mexican guy’s name which sounds like Hay-suess) do?”, I shall run out and purchase one which reads, “WWJCD – What would Johnny Cash do?”

  3. It reminds me of when these athletes thank God for the win. He didn’t win the game, he just gave you the gift to win it. Also, if He gave you the win, then He gave the other team a loss? What a meanie!

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