Man-Scaping & Such
I am going to blame this post on Rebecca over at http://ladyornot.com. She was talking about women bedazzling their guns the other night, and that led me to thinking about vajazzle, which led to wondering what kinds of strange stuff men might do with their nether regions. Yeah, so blame it on the ADD. My mind wanders! 🙂
Let’s start with the basic upkeep of the groin area–manscaping. Urban Dictionary defines manscaping as such: A term used to define male grooming below the belt. A male can use both an electric razor or a regular razor. A Mach 3 is preferable with the ladies on the testicular area. No female likes to deal with hairy balls, so men must education themselves on proper manscaping and maintenance techniques.
I am so happy this has caught on in the male world. I don’t mean to be crass, but if you happen to be a female who enjoys performing fellatio, present company included, you don’t want to have to be trying to do your best work with a face full of brillo pad! Let me just also mention thatmanscaping will most likely make what you have look larger, which is probably an added bonus for some of you. Was that a little dick joke? Why yes, I believe it was. Suffice it to say, if you can’t see the tree for forest, you better trim some shit up!
I did mention vajazzle up above, and so as not to seem sexist, I guess someone has decided it would be a good idea to what?? Penazzle!! Yes, decorate your cock with jewels!!
No, you can’t just buy the bedazzler off the “As Seen On TV” site. If you really want to get “Mr. Happy”, or “Mini Me”, or whatever you call him all decked out and ready to hit the town, I would suggest going to a professional. Please don’t try some fake rhinestones and a glue gun either. Ow!! By the way, why does an image of Richard Simmons come up when you google “dick bedazzle”??
Other suggestions I have just read on making your man tool look better:
1. “Fapping” with self-tanner.
2. Cock push-ups
3. Start doing “the squeeze” a couple times a day
Hell, is this something men even sit around and think about? I know it doesn’t really consume my day, but I knew I had to google this and see what came up, so I thought I would share my results with you. Here’s my advice—keep the area clean, trimmed, and as long as you know how to use what’s down there, I think you’re probably in good shape! 😉
Yep, no one wants to floss their teeth. I wrote about that once.
Personally I think they look good with me wrapped around them 😉 I am the best accessory.
Depends on what guy they’re attached to!! Hahaha
I’m fine with trimming the area above, and always prefer to keep it that way. But that’s flat skin. I’d eliminate hairy ball syndrome but I have no idea how to do it safely. I’ll accept tips– but no pendazzling, thanks anyway!
If you go get Starbucks this morning, be sure to pick up some bananas and cauliflower while you’re there. 😀
Waxing or Nair don’t seem like very good options either. I have tried both in my nether regions, and would NEVER do it again. Was quite painful. I gotta give it to strippers and porn chicks who can get the ‘ol wax on the va-jay, because I can’t do it. Razor only!! 🙂
I am making a trip to the store today, and will have to walk by the Starbucks to get to the fruit and veggie section. I prefer to wait for your big banana though Jason! 😉
I’m just trying to make sure my banana doesn’t get overripe and mushy. 😀